Whom Shall I Fear

Photo: R. Hamilton

Friday, September 1, 2017 was not the best of days for me. First I was awake almost all night hurting badly. My arms were a constant pain and the leg cramps were unending. My morning dose of Parkinson's medication had me gagging within 20 minutes and my stomach turned for the next several hours..

At 7:30 I finally made it out the door headed for work when I realized I would need to move Krishna's car as Dan had just arrived home from grade yard shift and parked behind my truck. I grabbed her keys jumped into my truck an backed right into her car. You heard me right. BAM!

I drug myself into the house and told Kris and all she said was "Its ok! It can be fixed.". Always the understanding wife. I stood there hurting, frustrated and ready to climb back into bed and the person whose car I had just munched told me it was ok.

The day had its ups and downs as there are always challenges at work but as I have said before I have a great team at work. A GREAT TEAM. At the end of day I found myself doing what relaxes me the most these days, watering my yard. There is that mole but that's another story.

Parkinson's is a funny thing. The Parkinson websites say that every person with Parkinson's suffers with different challenges and everyday is different. I am finding this to be true for me and I know in talking to my cousin Sara Claire she says the same for her dad as he suffers with Parkinson's Disease. Everyday is different and everyday has its obstacles.

There are days I wake up feeling great and by 10:00 I feel awful and there are days I wake up feeling awful and by 10:00 I feel great and then there are days I am awful all day. The one thing that remains the same abut the disease is that it is never the same. I could get angry, but why? I could give up but that would be dumb there is to much to push for and I could get biter but I have so much to be joyful about. We all face situations where we are tested and we must find inside of us the truth of who we will trust and who will give our lives to as we look for hope in hard times.

Remember Job? You know the story about the guy who had everything. Let me remind you about the journey that Job had to take. Here is the readers digest version.

The book of Job is the oldest book of the bible and was written possibly by Job himself in 2100 B.C. It is an example of of faithfulness. Satan comes to God and wants to attack Job. God allows but tells satan he cannot kill Job.

Job losses all his children and his possessions his wife even tells him to curse God and commit suicide. ( I am really glad I am not married to that lady.) Job looses everything important to him including his health. He gets bad advice from his friends they even tell Job that he must have really sinned for God to attack him so bad. Yet he stays faithful to God and God blesses him with twice as much as he had before.

You see God does not give us trouble that is not how it works. Evil and sin give us trouble and God gives us love. Think about this. You have heard before that "God so loved the world that he sent his only son."  John 3:16 Take a step back and understand what God did. He sent a precious baby. That baby walked the earth telling us of God's love and faithfulness and in the end of his life on earth he was beaten, whipped and  had to crawl through the streets with a cross on his back. At this point anyone of us would be in critical condition but Jesus must endure even more. He is nailed to that cross and then spends the remainder of his life trying to breath under the weight of his own body hanging on that cross. Then the soldiers, who were very good at their work, stick a shard spear into Jesus and blood and water come pouring out. That water and blood, as medical science says today, must have been from the sack of his heart.

Its not over. Then he goes to fight the devil and then comes back to earth to show us he is alive and waiting for us. NOW THAT IS LOVE! I cannot imagine someone loving me that much but he does and he loves you that much too.

So I had a bad day Thursday. Looks like a cake walk compared to Job and Jesus but in the end the love God gives Jesus and Job is the same love he gives me and you. A love that overcomes all things. We may not always understand why bad things happen but in the end it is all for the glory of God.

So whom Shall I fear? Better yet what shall I fear? How will I survive? Where shall I turn when the road gets difficult? The answers to all these questions are easy. I shall fear no evil or pain or road blocks. I will survive by leaning on my family and friends. Finally, I do not know where this will all take me or where I am going but I know whom I shall turn to. God. He is always with with as I make My Journey.

God Loves You and So Do I.

Laughter is the best medicine. I love to make others laugh.

          

Here is the best meds for me. Safe in the arms of love. My family is my  all and that lady who is always there to hold me in her arms She is my rock.

I've spent my life looking for you
Finding my way wasn't easy to do
I know there was your all the while
And its been worth every mile

So lay down beside me
Love me and hide me
Kiss all the hurting of this world away
Hold me so close that I feel your heartbeat
And don't ever wander away

Mornings and evenings all were the same
And there was no music till I heard your name
But I knew when I saw you smile
Now I can rest for awhile

So lay down beside me
Love me and hide me
Kiss all the hurting of this world away
Hold me so close that I feel your heartbeat
And don't ever wander away

And don't ever wander away......

The Companion Who Carries Me

My wedding day could not be any clearer then if it had happened today. In fact, it is probably better that it happened 27 years ago because I can remember things form then and not information from today. There she was right in front of me, the most amazing woman in the world and I had just promised to be with her through all the good all the bad and all the ugly. Yes even bad hair days and there have been a few of those.

Little did we know that the first 10 years of our marriage would be so full of so many wonderful mountain and so many difficult valleys. Not for our relationship, in fact our relationship only grew stronger because of the challenges. In 10 years we lost both Krishna's parents, a dear friend and I had brain and spine surgery. It was also 10 years that saw 2 babies born and so much joy added to our lives.

For my wife Krishna these times must have been a major challenge as she was forced to say farewell to parents, hello to babies and then watch as I went through my medical troubles. She was asked once how she survived and she simply said "God!" That's my girl.

That was many years ago and today life is different. The kids are older, one in college, one going into the Police Academy and one a 15 year old social butter fly. They are  the center of universe for Kris and I and we love all the challenges bring.

It is no secret that My Journey is different now then it was all those years ago but really it is the same. Back then I had head aches, dizzy spells and trouble walking. Today I have headaches, body aches, trouble walking, shaking and memory loss. Its kind of different except one thing....GOD!

Two nights ago Krishna came to me after reading my blog. She had big crocodile tears on her checks and she just softly said "This illness will not go away will it?" You see all those years ago with my past medical there was the surgery to improve things and possibly make it all go away but with Parkinson's there is no REAL solution.

She said I was reading that this will be with us forever and I am scared. I simply replied "I am not." I have an ace in the hole I have you and God. I have a blessing in that God made me a partner that is willing to travel this journey. In fact I even said to Kris "Do you want out?' Of course she looked at me with those beautiful eyes and said "NO WAY!'

Too often we forget about all those impacted when someone is given a challenge like cancer, Parkinson's or whatever life may serve up. Everyday I have people say "How are you today?" " How do you feel today'" But often we forget to check on the others impacted by the struggles. The family members. We must remember when we pray for those in need that we pray for all those around them as well. I feel when I am being prayed for and it helps but that night I realized when I pray for a friend in need I need to also pray for their support team of family and friends.

I have an amazing support team but they need to be lifted up as well because caring for me and putting up with me can be a challenge of its own. These friends and family need to be carried on their journey as well. The journey that have chosen to take with me is the journey of their life that needs Gods love and support.

Here is the other part......

You know for years I have lived very carefully. No jumping, lifting, running, hoping, skipping, swinging, the list goes on forever. The doctors say it will make you hurt, could cause more damage and it may shorten your life. Yesterday I was asked to go to the lake with Mike and Maria Hines. Mike and Maria are friends that watch over us, laugh with us, cry with us and understand that I am not perfect.

I just realized some out there may not have known that I am not perfect. SURPRISE!!!!!!

Anyway as I am sitting on the boat for a day planned watching other people swim, jump and tube I thought wait a minute. I can set here in the heat and watch everyone have fun and tonight I will hurt. Tomorrow I will hurt. It will never end. Then it hit me.

I cant die and go to heaven if I haven't lived!

Then I remembered this verse.

Then I jumped into the cool water of the lake. I even rode the tube for about 20 minutes. Yes I hurt last night, I hurt today and I will hurt tomorrow but I lived.

 We call it Olympic synchronized downhill boat gymnastics. It felt good to laugh, it felt good to fall down and know that even though I would be hurting I lived. And my kids had a moment with Dad of laughter and fun.  

So the road may take us through valleys and onto mountain tops. Heck some days it takes us right through the middle of a lake but guess what? God is there in all those places wet or dry hurting or not he is there to carry you and love you and yes keep you from drowning in all that life gives you and your traveling companions. So tonight when you pray, pray for those on the journey with you and with me. All those family and friends who are facing the struggle with us for they make life worth living.

But mostly I ask that you pray for these feet. the big ones and the little ones too. For those little feet next to me belong to a woman with an amazing heart and those little feet carry a big load each day when I am making "My Journey."

God Loves you and so do I. 

Our Challenging Journey

Its a hot July evening at 5:00 and my Dad has just gotten home from a long week of work and we are ready to go. Yes the trip is about to begin he has worked all day in the heat and now we are all ready to make a trip to see relatives in the far away place called Oregon. As we scramble to load bags of clothes and pillows and blankets into the car we are full of giggles and excitement but I am sure Dad must be tired.

Soon the Pontiac is loaded and while the sun shines mom reads to us one of many books she will read over the years. As darkness settles into the car so does the realization that there are a lot of people crammed into this vehicle. The night is sultry and in the distance a storm is brewing. As lightening flashes we move through the night headed to our destination and not knowing what lies ahead of us.

Every journey was different. Some went smoothly and others may have a flat tire, road side repair or someone always needing a rest stop. There were hungry kids to feed, diapers to change and naps to be taken. But we made it from one point to the next without major incident because God was our captain.

I spoke about this the other day with Noah but think about all the journeys we take in our life. Often we pray at the start for safety, pray for protection in times of trouble but most often we forget to thank God for his protection after we arrive safe. Each journey starts differently and ends differently. Some can be just a day journey while others can last a whole life time time in the end we look back and can say "Thank God I made it."

One of the great metaphors of the Bible is “the journey.” The Bible is filled with journey upon journey. From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture is full of people on the move.  Moses moves for many years on a journey, until his people make it to the Promised Land. Many generations later, Abraham’s descendants journey from slavery and oppression in Egypt into the land of Israel. David travels to defeat Goliath.

Joseph and Mary journey to Bethlehem for what will become a journey that we will all remember. The wise men will journey to meet the new savior and then they will journey in the middle of the night to avoid the King so they can protect the baby Jesus. Then Joseph and Mary will take their child in the cover of darkness to Egypt and then to Israel and then to Nazareth. The journey for Jesus will never really end for his love for us carries him from village to village sharing Gods love.

It is interesting to me that all these years later My Journey touches their journeys and yours and the journey of others and eventually we are walking step by step  with each other.  It is fascinating really how we talk of journeys that took place and journeys yet to come.

Jesus's journey was more then just a walk about, it was a journey of love and understanding. It is a journey of a child sent from his father to live in the flesh only to be crucified and carry our sins away and save our souls so that you and I can enjoy eternity.

Like many of our journeys it had its bad days and good days. Think of this, My Journey has had some very rocky roads as has many of yours. But we have had some great adventures. Along the way we get battered and bruised and in the end we may look different. I wasn't born with grey hair, bad hearing, a bad back and Parkinson's. Sometimes I look like a prize fighter but often I look like I have been drug through the rubble of a rock quarry. We all do.

Think of Christs last journey. There he is hanging on a cross. He is bloodied from the beating he has taken. His body is a mess and the pain must be beyond our comprehension. But God looks down and he does not see the body covered in blood and broken but instead he can see the soul of a man and that soul, that heart is beautiful.

So today you may feel broken. You make look in the mirror and think "man I need to lose a few pounds" or you may be bent over with a bad back. Your body may be weak from fighting a disease or you may just be tired and worn out. God doesn't look at all of that. He is not judging any of that and we should not either.

When God looks down he wants to see a loving well exercised heart. He wants to see a glowing soul that even when you have made mistakes and faltered you started your journey over and tried again and you have forgiven others. You have loved those who are the hardest to love.

You see all the journeys and flat tires and souvenirs we collect along the way mean nothing if we forget to collect memories of love, kindness and forgiveness. They mean nothing if we forget to travel with God instead trying to do it our own way. OUR WAY DOES NOT WORK!

So tomorrow you will start a new journey and you should invite God along for the ride. This time however ask him to drive. This time ask him to pick the radio station. This time remember to thank him for the blessings from the start to the end. Remember bad things will still happen but with God the lesson will be of value and your soul in the end will be happier that he carried your load.

We all to travel through this life but remember so did Jesus and he made it. We have the same power in us that he had in him. I have that same power in me and each day I will carry it with me as I make "My Journey."

God Loves you and So do I!

The Captain Of My Ship

As a kid we lived in what seemed to be the middle of no where and the middle of paradise. We had the whole world to run free in. There was Grandpa's Ranch, the old golf course,  the trails to the mountain and of course the banks of so many creeks empty and full. As the cool school days of April turned to the warm days of May a kid can get pretty restless. I would sit in class and watch the hand of the clock crawl to a slow motion. So slow it seemed like it was going back wards. Then June would arrive and soon the long days of July and the dog days of August would finally come. 

We hit the outdoors before the sun and only come home long after mom turned on the porch light. There was so much to do and see and explore. It never got old especially when you have your brothers and trusty old lab cocoa by your side. We built forts in the trees, played war, tracked the wild animals like a mountain man and fished every chance we got. Late in the summer the black berries hung sweet and no matter how many times the thorns attacked us we still came home with black hands and faces from eating our fill of natures delicious fruit.

The best part of our childhood was when we got our great ideas to be creative. I remember one hot summer day we were bored and decided we should build a raft just like Huck and Tom and we could sail it in our moms Koa pond. We had seen big ships float so no worries about how big it might be we knew it would float. So we gathered railroad ties, old ply wood and a ton of 16 penny nails to build the greatest raft that would ever set sail in that pond. I did not know much about physics, engineering or construction but it looked good.

The biggest challenge was getting to the pond. Talk about heavy. Once we got it on the bank my brother decided he would push it real hard and I would jump on to keep it steady. Great plan! So he pushed, I jumped and I sunk! As I sunk I looked at my brother and he had that You are such an idiot look on his face. There I went me and HMS Hamilton sinking in dirty water and deep black mud that sat on the bottom of the pond. So much for cool and refreshing. 

It took many years to try and figure our what went wrong after all Noah built a bigger boat and filled it with every animal under the sun and it floated. But you have to think Noah had a better boat designer, leader and spiritual designer. I had a brother that looked at me like I was crazy. I love that look. He still gives it to me all the time.

Think about this the world was over run by wicked people. The entire population was evil and wicked and people were robbing each other, being rude and and some men no longer opened doors for woman. It was awful. Some people even were texting while they were driving. God looked down and thought this has got to stop! 

But God found favor in Noah. Noah was man that was well over 500 year old and he was to tired to be wicked and the whole texting thing??? Noah did not even have a cell phone. So God called out to Noah. That had to be scary There Noah was sitting in the patio drinking lemonade and a booming voice calls out to him. At first he thought I already took out the trash what can she possibly need now?' But then Noah realized it was a real big voice. 

So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all the people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both of them and the earth. So make yourself an ark of Cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how it should be built: The ark is to be 300 cubits long, and 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high. Make a roof for it, leaving below the roof an opening one cubit high all around. Put a door in the side of ark and make a lower, middle and upper decks. I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth and destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. But I will establish a covenant with you, and you will enter the ark-you and your sons and your wife and your sons wives with you. You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away for you and them."

God asked Noah if he had any questions and Noah said yes 2:

1. Are you sure about this?

2. What is a cubit?

Well God was sure about it and Noah set out for the next 120 years getting ready for the storm. I built a boat in a few hours and it sunk and I ended up stinky and muddy. I am sure Noah had many hard days and I bet the towns people thought he was crazy. Imagine how lonely, scared and worried Noah was but he kept his focus on God and he trusted him. I sure there days he was muddy and wet but Noah was a faithful man.

We all know what happened next. It rained! It really rained. God rained down and all things under heaven was destroyed. But in the end God sent a rainbow to remind us he loves us. This is a story of how God really loves us. I know that may sound crazy to some because God destroyed the earth but he did it because he wanted us to be reminded that we need to turn away from evil and trust in him. In all we do we should seek him and his wisdom and guidance. 

You know I started this Blog My Journey to talk about Parkinson's and each day I am reminded that without God My Journey would be a horrible road trip. Take today, I woke up in awful pain. I had not slept much, my body ached and my medicine only made me gag all morning. I could not miss work after all it was the first day of school and I LOVE those kids at my school. They give me energy and hope to fight this battle. I felt like I was in a lonely dark place and I have to admit a little frightened. But remember how Noah must have felt?

What could I do? I laid it all at the cross and asked God to place his shield in front of me. AND HE DID. Was it easy? NO! But it was easier. Why Because I am so loved by an amazing God. I have an amazing support system of family, friends and co workers. Isn't life absolutely AMAZING!

You see everyday we can build a ship that sinks and we can look like an idiot or we can build a ship and have it sink and say "Thank God I did not drowned'. We must remember that in our life there are dark days and there are muddy waters but God is with us.

So tomorrow you might get muddy. But ask God to sail with you and as you do look for me because I will be making my way along the rivers of life and my captain will be God. I will be watching for his promise in the rainbow. He promises to always be there and he is leading the way for me as I make "My Journey."

GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I!

Peace Be with you!

Trouble With The Curve

I am sitting on the front porch with grandpa and we are listening to the ball game on his small radio. It is a hot August afternoon and from where I am sitting I can see the blue sky, smell the tar weed and hear the quail calling to each other in the field between his house and ours. My imagination is deep into the world far away on that radio. I can hear the announcer describe the day they are having at the ball park, in the background I can hear the fans and I can smell the dirt of the infield. Suddenly the batter strikes out and grandpa slaps his knee. "He always has trouble with the curve ball. He will never make it if he can't hit the curve ball. That's just like life." (Sounds like a Clint Eastwood movie)

Grandpa is wearing his tan pants and a white t-shirt. He gets up and wanders off to move the sprinkler in the yard and leaves me with my thoughts. What is a curve ball I wonder. At five years old that is a big question and as long ago as it was I remember it just like yesterday. Later, I would ask grandpa what a curve ball was and as he is letting the calf graze on the lawn he slowly explains the differences in pitches.

To the average person this is small talk but remember this is my grandpa and at five years old this is an important moment in life. He explains that pitching is different then just throwing the ball and hoping the batter misses it. The pitcher learns to hold the ball different ways so that he can throw different pitches and trick the batter. The more prepared he is the better he will do. Its the batters job to learn to hit those different pitches.

Fast forward some almost 50 years, I am sitting chatting with a friend the other day and he said "you know life can be going along just great and then God throws you a curve." I said "No life throws the curves and God catches or hits them for you."

Isn't it true about most of our troubles? We are cruising along and something happens and we blame God. That is not how it works. Life might throw you different situations but if you are prepared like the batter in the ball game you will be a better hitter.

Too often life gives us challenges and what do we do? We either blame God or ask for his help. I am here to tell you its better to ask for help and it is even easier to know how to do that if you have a relationship with God. You might get in an accident, have the flu, cut your finger or any million other things that could happen. You can blame God or turn to him. It is not Gods fault we have challenges but he is there to help us through them.

So today in my own way I am going to try and describe how this all works. At least how it all works in my mind.

So in the beginning God made man and he called him Adam which means man. Makes sense right? Then God put man in this beautiful garden and said as long as you behave you will never have to water and pull weeds. Adam said "God what are weeds?"

So Adam was content until one day he was talking to God and he said " God it kinda gets lonely in this pretty garden." So God said "Well Adam I can give you an amazing creature. That will be your partner and friend but it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thought about this and then said "What can I get for a rib?"

So along came Eve. God said " Now Eve you can stay in the Garden forever but you can't eat the apple from that tree." Well of course one day a snake told Eve that the apples were great and she ate one. Ever since then man has been pulling weeds, dragging hoses and killing gophers. Its kind of true! Really, once the apple was bitten sin enter the world.

Man was warned but God loved us enough that he gave us choices. He still does. Each day we have choices to make. How do I pay the bills? Should I ask that girl out in my math class? Do I exercise? ETC No matter the decision big or small we have choices to make. Sometimes we make good decisions sometimes we don't do so good.

When paying bills the stack of medical ones can look big. The girl in the math class can look great but who is she really? The best way to make decisions...Pray first. Put it in Gods hands. The bible says:

Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the lord forever; he will always protect you.

I get this question all the time..."How do you get through the tough times?" Easy I have a great support system and I put it in GODS HANDS. I may not get the answers the way I want, the road may not go the direction I want it to and it might not turn out the way I want. However, In the long run it is better. We may not see it at first but in Gods hands we are safe. We can hit the curve ball. The stack of bills eventually will go away, the girl in the math class makes a great wife and the cut on your hand will heal and teach you that people who shake with Parkinson's should think twice about using sharp knives.

Yes we ALL struggle with our daily issues. You know mine. I try to hide them but I stumble and people see the challenge before me. We all stumble. Yes I have Parkinson's Disease. Yes I feel awful and achy. Not all the time. So I don't focus on those things instead I place it in Gods hands and I let him bring me peace.

Life will always throw me curves. It will also throw me sliders, change ups and fastballs. Isn't that great. I never know what to look for but it keeps me looking and waiting and excited. It keeps me focused. So I will keep my eye on the ball and live my life inning by inning as I make "My Journey."

This is my Grandpa Elmer. I miss him all the time and someday when
 I get to heaven I am going to run into his arms and bury my face in his neck. 

My Heart Is Full!

It is 4:45 am Wednesday July 5, 2017 and I reach over and turn the alarm off before it goes off at 5:00. I have laid awake for the last 2 hours and it is time to get going to the fair grounds. I reset the alarm for 6:30 so that Kris will wake up for work on time and I quickly get dressed and leave the room so I do not wake her. 

Faith and I load a ice chest bag of drinks and head for the fairgrounds. The forecast is for 100 degrees and it has already been hot the last three days while we have been at the fairgrounds. Now the Big Joe on the radio says 106 by weeks end. Welcome to fair week.

By 6:00 we are waiting in line to unload and before you know it the pig is vet checked, weighed and in his pen. He made weight at 226 pounds. He is smaller then we wanted but the heat wave in June really slowed him down. The day is spent watching for me and working for Faith. 

On a normal year I would be helping at the scale then setting up for beef weigh in and then helping with beef. On a normal year I would then help take down the beef walk way and set up for the next days swine show. On a normal year I would being running around in the heat working my but off.

This is not a normal year and I have better then normal friends in my corner. The auction committee keeps me away from the hot hard work as a way to love and protect me against my own problem, you know the Parkinson's thing. I spend the day instead running errands doing stuff for the Fair Board that I was just appointed to and visiting. Dickie Hall keeps me very entertained. 

Faith spends the day clipping pigs, teaching others to clip pigs and washing a lamb. No she does not have a lamb but her buddy Belle does and there are far to many giggle opportunities for them to miss. She is a hard worker.  

Tuolumne County All Stars doing the Flag Ceremony.
There is my Faith raising the American flag.

Teaching Maryn how to clip her pig.

Duke the pig.

Suddenly its Thursday and it is Swine show day. I am announcing again and this year working with Bailey Orpurt. My sister Sharon is right there busting her groove moving pigs all over the barn. Faith makes market and does not do so well in showmanship. She is all smiles as Duke is going to the auction.

Showmanship. I love this picture Maria Hines.

Each day of the fair has its different events and with it comes the chance to see old friends who return for the shows. I am the announcer for the sheep show and the beef show so I am blessed with a spot to sit and see all my old friends. Before you know it we are setting up for auction and having the chance to see old friends that I showed with.

Cleaning up for the auction.

Saturday night leaves me amazed at the community. Early in the day I give the exhibitors a challenge to clean up and set up their party just like RA used to and the kids do a great job. Faith leads the Auction in the Pledge of Allegiance and Savannah Wittman sings the National Anthem. What a way to start the show. The fire works this night will belong to the buyers. They spend over $360,000 that evening and Faith sells Duke for $15.00 a pound. UNBELIEVABLE!!

Hugging Tanner one last auction night as his leader.
 He was a wonderful President for our club. 

The Four Amigos!

There are many things in this world that bring me joy but none more then my kids. 

A hug from dad. This kid is a hard worker and it does not go unnoticed. Thank you James Smith.

My last swine group. These little wiper snappers brought me so much joy and in the end many tear

Tuolumne Pioneers win the Herdsman Award.

One of the greatest parts of the fair is living life with old friends. We all grow up but so many of us come back with our kids. Below are some of those I showed with who are now raising their kids at the fair.

Jeff and Ryder Wittman

Paula (Wittman) Shane & Sarah Marick

Heather ( Thomasson) & Kendall

The night ends and I cant help but think about all I have seen and heard. My old swine leader was at the fair, many old friends and I had the chance to make so many new friends.

Sunday comes to soon. It is my last day. As I walk in I can feel it slipping away. Faith has taken over my job of organizing pigs for the Round Robin show and Nick has taken over moving them. I know it is for the better as today my legs are a mess from the Parkinson's. I have kept my challenges to myself as good as I can but my friends know and they see the little signs, they know about the leg cramps I have been waking up too and they know that I have not slept well due to headaches. They see me stumble and even when I try to hide the shaking hands they know what I am doing. Retirement from 4H is coming soon and I know it is for the best. 

The hard part is not really leaving as I know I will be back as a parent and as the Vice President of the Mother Lode Fair Board. However, as a leader you have many hours of working with the kids and parents and relationships are formed. I will miss that. I will miss telling the large tall tales and watching their faces as they believe me. I will miss the giggles, tears and corny jokes. I love them all.

God made kids that way you know. The bible says:

Matthew 18:5

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

God has shown me through this program that all kids need us and we need all kids. He has allowed me to work with the blind, deaf and special needs children. I have watched a child go from hiding behind their mother to becoming a wonderful speaker. I have members who went to college and those who can make submarines with their bare hands. I LOVE THEM ALL!

Sunday ends with my club honoring me with a wonderful belt buckle and so many nice things said.  I hug so many my arms ache. I tell every one of those kids that I love them. AND I DO! I get hugs and kisses from old friends. The biggest gift of the day is when that stubborn old Dick Hall tells me he loves me and tells my wife I am a good guy. Do I cry? YUP! Grown Men do! 

Then its time to walk away. I hug my three country girls from the Sibley family and their brother ropes me one more time. Then he ropes Emily the new Swine leader. The torch is passed. I take Kris' hand and walk away. There is a lump in my throat and a smile in my heart and a beautiful woman on my side.

I won't miss the laughter as it is in my head like the sounds of the river as it winds it way through Kennedy Meadows. I wont miss the memories because each night they flash though my mind like lightning from a passing Sierra mountain storm. I wont miss the friends because they will forever be carried in my heart like a leaf softly floating in a fall wind storm.

What I will miss are the moments. Those moments when a child needs a quick word of encouragement. I will miss terrorizing new parents with made up stories and rules that dont really excist. I will miss faces and words. I will miss the little things that make each day different and special.

But I know that somewhere it is written in time and that time will be remembered by others and the stories will be shared and retold through the years and they will go in different directions and travel with others on different journeys.They will be my stories and our stories. Stories of a special time and a special place. Soon the journeys will come together as one and the stories will become one story.  a story that we will tell our grand kids. We will tell them of a  special place that lives in our hearts and it will go on with me as I follow........ My Journey.

'Cause you are the one light that shines on me

Without your love God knows where I'd be

Lost without a prayer

                                                            Somewhere way out there

My soul would turn to dust

Heaven help me

If I ever lose your love

A Fair To Remember

Editors Note:

As many of you know My Journey has been on a short break while I have worked to recapture some energy and finish out a school year. Tonight, in honor of the Mother Lode Fair, I am taking a quick trip back to my childhood and recapturing some of the fine moments that I enjoyed in my life. I hope you can sit back and enjoy a bit of 4-H/FFA history as I take a stroll back in time when life seemed a little simpler.

When I walked in that meeting room in 1974 I never dreamed that the new group my parents had signed me up for would become a family for the next 43 years. There were familiar faces from school like Peggy Hecht and there were also many new faces and names to get to know. Little did I realize that those faces and names would be forever etched in my memory and would travel a life time with me as I made My Journey.

It is a hot July day in the mid 1970's I am standing in the show ring and this year I will not be taking my pig to the auction a sad event that will repeat itself for several more years to come. But there are still so many things to do. I watch sheep showmanship, adult showmanship the beef show and of course there is barn duty. While I am sad that my pig will not go to auction a buyer is found so not all is lost. The best part is I have made so many friends and I have seen showman in other species that I have heard are legends in their own time. Names like Sonka, Fitch, Woods and Fraguero.

What amazes me to this day is the number of friends that I make....LIFELONG FRIENDS! These friends to this day carry me during difficult times, love me when I am unlovable and support my crazy activities that I do in the community.

 Through the years the faces change at the fair as members age out and new members come along but the story is the same. A story of kids working together to help each other learn a project, raise an animal and possibly win a ribbon. There are nights sitting on the lawn giggling with Mary Macon, playing cards with the Gritz's and of course there is always time for a visit with RA our loving FFA Adviser from Sonora High. Even though I am a 4-H member I am part of his family.

Our leaders teach us the importance of animal care and always being responsible for the care and feeding of the stock we are raising. They must be fed, watered, kept warm in the winter , cool in the summer and of course you cant help but to sneak them little treats here and there.

Life is like that isn't it? I mean God does the same for us. The bible says:

Proverbs 27:23
Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds;

God takes care of us and we are to tend to many flocks. Flocks of animals, flocks of people and of course our families and communities. That is what 4-H teaches us too. That we must use our Head, Heart, Hands and Health to take care of us, our community, our country and our world.

Kendra White Thompson

Christy Woods Schauffel

Christy 

Here is my picture form 1976. The fair was a magical wonderful time of year. The smell of maure still brings a smile to my face. I used to beg my parents to let me spend the night but they never agreed. Thank you for reminding me of the happy care free days. 

Brenda Farguero.

Erin Fraguero DeMercurio

While my sisters and I enjoyed the fair is was a lot of work and a lot of work for our parents too. They had to keep us clean fed and ready for the show. There were a lot of long hot days and so many worked so hard. The auctioneers Dave and Tom Fraser saw that our animals sold for top dollar. No one ever got the bidder higher then those tow brothers. Gerald Engler was always there to cheer us kids on.

Kathy Thompson Stegall 1985-1986

Gary Stegall 1985-1986

Melanie Brisco Hamilton

George Hamilton

My favorite memory of the fair was the year my brother was introduced to the girl showing rabbits. That sweet smile and incredible laugh is now my sister in law. See 4-H is awesome!

Jackie Kirk Martinez and Melanie Hamilton in costume showmanship.

Jackie Kirk 
I can still hear the auctioneers  and smell the straw. I have so many great memories of great times.

Judy Wilson
I remember washing my lamb with woolite. We would bring the camper trailer down and stay the week at the fairgrounds.

All too soon my days as a member ended and my days as a Daddy started. My wife Krishna would join me as we worked with names like Smales, Moore, Hines, Leslie, Wittman and Kirkwood.  There would be years of laughter and tears with my own little 4H members and my kids. As a leader I have washed away many tears and cut hands. At the end of each fair at 5:00 there are first year members crying as they say good bye to the animal for one last time. I give them the same old speech. The speech about how they are doing something many can't do and that is providing food for families. Then at 6:00 there are the good bye to my senior tears. As my members graduate I walk them out of the barn one last time. I thank them for their hard work and tell them how proud I am that I live in a community that they have worked so hard to bless.

These kids give food to the hungry, chop wood for the cold and clean the homes of the elderly. They have raised money to fight childhood disease, raised money for the homeless and they have cried as cancer has taken the life of their leaders. They use their Head to learn about life, their Hands to serve their community, their Health to learn how to help the ill and they give their Hearts fully.

Faith Hamilton

Emily Hamilton, Faith Hamilton and Sara Merick

Faith Hamilton

Danny Hamilton

Emily Hamilton 

Cindy Ingraham - Wozney

Driving to the judge

I would miss it all if I did not mention this great friend. We met through 4-H and some 40 years later she is one of my most special friend in the world and I love her friendship.

Well there it is 43 years of my life. This Sunday it will all come to an end. This Sunday at 5:00 I will one last time give my speech to first year members this time it will be a little harder. Then at 6:00 I will make one last slow walk out of the barns as a 4-H member/leader. I will take the thoughts I have in my HEAD of members past and present and the laughter and tears we have shared. I will carry in my HANDS the years of calluses from building pens and mending broken toes. I will continue to improve my HEALTH so that in some way I can continue to serve my community and finally I will hold deep in my HEART the memories of so many days with so many wonderful people.

Then one day when my body has slowed and my mind is weak and forgetful all those memories will be safe in my heart and will travel with me wherever God takes me on My Journey.