His Strength Is Perfect

The Greatest test of faith is when you don't get what you want,
but still are able to say THANK YOU LORD.
Photo Credit: Cheryl Calderaro

I am a worrier. I did not say a warrior but a worrier a person who can worry about everything. I remember as a kid I gave myself an ulcer from always worrying. I worried about grades, games, family, friends and the world. If I did not have any thing to worry about I would worry about other peoples troubles. You know that is how I rolled for many years.

Then one day I had brain surgery. That little life challenge changed my life greatly.

There's a ship out on the ocean at the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about lost and broken wandering aimlessly
And God, somehow You know that ship is me

It was indeed me. I realized that I could not survive that life challenge until I gave up my worries and left them in Gods hands.

                                                           

Recently, I shared that I could have more then Parkinson's and that I was waiting tests to determine what was going on. That was three weeks ago. Today, someone asked me "So what was it?" I said  what was what? "What was the other problem, the other diagnosis?' I don't know. "Doesn't that freak you out not knowing?

Cause there's a lighthouse in the harbor shining faithfully
Pouring its light out across the water for this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes in me

It really does not drive me crazy not knowing. Actually I have a peace not knowing. So I have constant pain. It is in my legs, my arms and my hips. I also have headaches, neck pain and I tremble. The reality is I have Parkinson's Disease. THE REALITY IS I HAVE PARKINSON"S DISEASE! The bigger reality is I have God in my life and all that I go through and all that I endure he goes through and endures WITH ME!

Lets think about this, for 20 plus years I have had these pains and now they are intensifying. Now they are stronger. Now they are an everyday companion. SO IS GOD! His love for me and my love for him is intensifying each day. My faith for him is stronger each day. God is my everyday companion.

On those nights at 2:00 am when the pain keeps me awake, and believe me that is more nights then not, and every night that I cannot sleep and wonder how I will face the next day. I feel him right there with me. He is a shield that protects me, protects US! He is there when WE reach out.


On a prayer in a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

I was reminded today by a very wise friend that I say me or I to often. The fact of the matter is WE are all in this together! It is MY Journey but all of you are here with me. It is MY Journey and OUR Journey. When we lean on each other we bring him glory.

I try to hide my symptoms. I keep my arms crossed to hide the trembling. I don't eat in public if my fork is shaking and I sit when my legs are weak so people won't think I am drunk. My wife drives when I am tired, weak and need support.

Parkinson's makes me forget. Parkinson's makes me tremble.  Parkinson's makes me have weird facial expressions. Parkinson's makes me have bad dreams and yell in my sleep and yes I have even punched Kris in my sleep. Man I will never live that down. Parkinson's can cause lots of trouble for me in this world.

Jesus tells us that we will have troubles in this world, it's a guarantee. However, He also promises that we have victory through our faith because Jesus Christ has overcome the world. If you are facing hard and uncertain times, you can be encouraged to press on knowing that you can overcome.! 

How do I know? Because he sits right there in the recliner at 2:00 every night. He calms me in my sleep and he puts people in my life everyday that fight for me, with me. He gives me the courage to tell you that life can stink and to put this all out there for you to read. Why? Because I trust him and he tells me to trust you. He tells me that he will carry me. You will carry me. We are in this together and we will carry each other in all our rough days. 


There's a moment we all come to  In our own time and our own space
Where all that we've done we can undo If our heart's in the right place
And again I see my yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery You're changing all that is and used to be

On a prayer in a song I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down against the wind I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again


God gives us grace. More then we deserve. We need to give him glory each and everyday as we battle. We must remember that he did not give us these problems but he can help us as we travel this road. He helps me and he will always be with me as I make our "My Journey."