If you look at my school pictures I was a frame of bones. But man did I have energy. I was constantly moving and playing sports. I was not great at it but I loved to play. I could run on the field all day and then go home and chase animals on my grandparents farm or run after my older brothers playing war, kick the can and tag. What a life.
We lived in what seemed like the middle of no where. A place where you could escape the world and all its troubles. The alarm to come home was a whistle or yell from mom hours after dark. We would track wild animals, hunt in the woods like mountain men and look for gold in our creek. The holes in our shoes and jeans was proof we never found any but we looked.
I remember as a kid thinking that God really loved us because we were in heaven. We did not know when we were broke because mom and dad never told us. We did not know we did not have everything in the world because the world lived right outside our door. We had a million cousins, a dog and the whole world as our play yard.
It is funny now to look back and realize what we had. To often people look back and say "hey I was cheated because I did not have enough." I do not feel that way. I look back and say "Yes it was hard but look what we HAD." The gift of being raised the way I was is that you realize how much God must really love you to allow you to go through challenges so that you are made stronger. In the storms is where you will find him. In the storms is where you find peace, if you know where to look.
My life is that way now. For me, the last few weeks have been a challenge. I have great moments, like today, and awful moments like last night. Parkinson's disease can be an invisible and often lonely challenge. I can go through the day untouched, like today, or I can go through a painful sleepless night like last night.
It is not always at night I suffer but when I suffer it seems like stormy dark time for me and those around me that it can affect. My back pounds, my hip throbs and my legs feel like they will fall off. You have heard me say it before, the pain is real the frustration is endless and the storm rages.
It is in that darkness where he is waiting. It is in that storm where he walks on waves. The Lord has said he will dwell in a dark cloud. 1 Kings 8:12 . Even in the darkest of hours God is still God and he is still in control. The dark cannot hide his face from us but instead it reveals his love for us even when we cannot see his face.
God does not keep me out of the storms he actually sits there and watches me sail right into them but inside that storm he waits and he is their to guide me and protect me from danger. Remember Jesus watched his disciples sail into the storm and when they cried for help he walked right through the darkness and the storm and he was there. Without a word he made the waters calm. Because no matter how fierce the storm he is stronger.
You were born to cry so that you could learn to breath. Think about that. We learn from the hard parts.
So as I sit here tonight and watch as a storm starts to brew and cover the face of the full moon and it looks like it will rage for hours to come, I know that All things work for the good of God. Romans 8:28. He calms the storms of my life and when the sun comes up tomorrow I will have the courage and peace to face another day. I will have the courage and peace to know that he travels with me as I make My Journey.
As alway, I appreciate your transparency and honesty! Thank you for the encouragement and alway pointing me back to God!
ReplyDelete