Grandpa Told Me So

I would often spend sleep overs at my grandparents house and I always found life full of fun and great times. Grandpa had a farm full of animals, gardens full of food and late in the afternoon we would sit and listen to a baseball game on his old radio. He could milk a cow in the dark of morning, mend a fence by noon and when he sneezed he could make his teeth fly out of his mouth and catch them with his tongue before they were to far gone.

Grandpa never said much but when he talked I listened closely as I knew his words were of truth and that if I followed his guidance I would never go wrong.

There was safety sitting on his knee, there was love in his hugs and there was a warmth and trust that I found in his kind laughter and winks. Late at night when a summer storm rumbled he said it would be ok and I knew it would be because Grandpa had told me so.

Then one day he was gone and no matter where I looked I could never find him. Just a memory a feeling and a trust that he was always close and that everything will be ok no matter how loud the thunder gets.

Tuesday January 23, 2018 started like any normal day for me. I had wondered the house most the night frustrated that I could not sleep because of the pain, I was sad because I had just completed my final 4H event and was now officially retired from 4H and I was confused as to why my body would not just give me just one day away from the challenges of Parkinson's.

As Krishna woke up I told he I did not feel well and she felt maybe it was the start of the flu. I headed for the couch because I was not going to work and risk passing the flu to my employees. That is one great team of friends that did not need to get sick. They spend their everyday blessing our amazing students and the flu was not something they deserved. Kris texted my team and I hit the couch.

Just as I hit the couch it hit me. Not the flu but the pain. I mean PAIN! Leg crams and muscle spasms like I cannot describe. I know that I have shared before that Parkinson's causes leg cramps It is caused by having too much dopamine in your brain, which can overstimulate your muscles. Spasms in your calf muscles may make your toes curl into a claw-like position. 

Before I knew it my legs were a massive mess and my arms were  curled under like a claw like position. For what seemed like an eternity I arched my backed pounded the couch and begged for help. Kris and Emily tried to hold me, rub me and love me but I was way out of it in pain. After about 30-45 minutes it started to ease. It was only then I could catch my breath.

Then it happened again.

When the fog lifted I realized my buddy Kenny was there and he said we are leaving now for the hospital. After I arrived at the ER I was taken straight to check in and It happened again. This time I am sitting in the wheel chair and I was begging into Kris ear to get me out of there because I did not want people to see me like that. I was rushed into a room and my pulse was 170 beats a minute. 

There comes a moment in every mans life when a nurse with a IV is his best friend.

I slept for hours while the staff did the tests and blood work and x rays. The results? I have Parkinson's Disease. and now an appointment at UCSF at the Parkinson Center on February 12 at 9:00 in the morning. 

I missed work the whole week. I slept a lot and I had time to think, pray and wonder and this is what I realized.I am blessed by fellow Admin Team members who are a blessing to all they come into contact with.  

I also realized something bigger. You see as I lay there and worried IF I would return to work I heard a voice say these words to me. 

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Matthew 6:34 

I realized that the words were Gods and they were true. They always are true. God gets us through each day and he takes care of today's troubles today and he will take care of tomorrows troubles tomorrow. But while the words I heard were Gods, the voice that I heard was Grandpas. And I knew I would be alright because Grandpa told me so and no matter where I go and how lost I feel they are always with me as I make My Journey.

When I am afraid I put my trust in you

Psalms 56:3

God Loves you and so do I. And yup so does Grandpa.