Do All Deeds With Love

Photo By: R Hamilton

As the winter snow would turn to spring rain it was a busy time at my grandparents little ranch. There were baby lambs being born, a calf that seemed to suddenly appear over night and the eggs in the hen house would not be collected for a while as this time of year they would be allowed to hatch with chicks that in the fall would become meat for a great winter soup.

Grandpa would spend hours with the rototiller in the garden and then he formed rows with small ditches for the water. Tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, peas and string beans to name a few of the great vegetables he would grow in what seemed to be the biggest garden ever planted. Out in the front of the house he would plant strawberries.

During the long hot summer grandpa would sit and run the hose down those little rows so that his crop would grow. I remember watching him bent over for hours pulling weeds, chasing gophers and now and then he would wave off a bird or two. Under his ever watchful eye tomato worms were collected, grasshoppers were killed and the ever pesky moles were trapped.

We kids would run around him waiting for a prize to be handed out for us to enjoy. He would give us small tomatoes to plop in our mouths, peas to strip from their pods to eat raw and sometimes a piece of corn sweet on the cob.  I can still taste the sweet strawberries from grandpas front fruit patch. They were big, red and full of wonderful juice.

As summer turned to fall the garden would slowly be put into jars and put in the basement under the house. The walls of the basement were made of dirt and there were shelves with little jars of jams everywhere. I can still remember going to the berry patches with my grandma on my birthday and picking blackberries and then spending the next day canning them for the upcoming winter.

Like the seasons in the garden life changes and all to soon grandpa and then grandma were gone. Soon it was my Dad with a garden and my kids were helping Papa plant his tomatoes and peas. They pick basil, squash and green beans. A new generation creates their memories. My brother plants his prize vegetables with his grand kids and the circle continues.

The bible says:

 Let all that you do be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16:14

I am horrible at gardening, It takes a person that is patient and has a bit of a green thumb. I stand there and wonder why in the world it is taking so long for the vegetable to grow. I forget to water and the weeds take over. Eventually, I go to my dads garden and pick a tomato and find victory.

In my struggle with Parkinson's I have found that life is a lot like grandpas garden. Some days, the ground is soft and easy to plow. The seeds grow perfectly and the fruit is sweet on the vine. Other days there are big weeds, hot weather and set backs. 

Someday's my body aches. Someday's I stumble. Someday's I have endless pain nightmares and like yesterday sleepless nights that seem to never end. I lay in bed and wonder when the sun will come up and realize that with the sun light there is a new day with new challenges and new struggles.

With that sunrise also comes a day that will also hold many victories. I might stumble but I get up. I might have nightmares but I can also have wonderful dreams about Kris and the kids. When the sun comes up I am reminded that God was wide awake with me.

I may not be able to plant a garden of tomatoes and peas but God has given me the ability to work towards a harvest. Instead,I can serve others by cooking for them. I can serve others by writing about a disease that silently attacks people and is not always seen by others. I can serve others with prayer and love. 

There is a song that says:

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

You see we do not have to have a plot of land to harvest a crop. You do not have to have Parkinson's to fight a battle and overcome challenges. That is my battle.  Everyone has a challenge they overcome and everyone has a service they can provide. The decision we must make is do we allow obstacles stop us or do we learn and grow from them. 

Tonight, I will sleep very little. I may have nightmares, leg cramps, pain trembling and frustration. However, As I struggle through the darkness God will be with me. He will water his garden. He will produce sweet fruit on the vine  and he will move with me through the days and nights and into each new season and together we will make "My Journey".

Tonight's Song

Worn

Tenth Avenue North

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn