Knee Deep In A River But Not Drowning

Imagine for one moment that you are Job. For those who do not know Job let me give you the Cliff notes.

Job is a wealthy man living in a land called Uz with his large family and extensive flocks. He is “blameless” and “upright,” always careful to avoid doing evil (1:1). One day, Satan (“the Adversary”) appears before God in heaven. God boasts to Satan about Job’s goodness, but Satan argues that Job is only good because God has blessed him abundantly. Satan challenges God that, if given permission to punish the man, Job will turn and curse God. God allows Satan to torment Job to test this bold claim, but he forbids Satan to take Job’s life in the process. 

In the course of one day, Job receives four messages, each bearing separate news that his livestock, servants, and ten children have all died due to marauding invaders or natural catastrophes. Job tears his clothes and shaves his head in mourning, but he still blesses God in his prayers. Satan appears in heaven again, and God grants him another chance to test Job. This time, Job is afflicted with horrible skin sores. His wife encourages him to curse God and to give up and die, but Job refuses, struggling to accept his circumstances.

Sounds like a pretty bad day. Well it was. So, Imagine for a moment that you are Job. Today was a rotten day. The dish washer stopped working, the dog bite the mailman and well you mixed the red shirts with the white underwear and the guys at the gym thought it was hilarious. Maybe this is an exaggeration and funny but people have days like this.

People have even worse days then this.

If you are new to this blog let me start by saying I have Parkinson's Disease and there are days that absolutely are terrible. People with this disease all struggle in different ways and each day is different. A few months ago my life was completely different then it was today and I am sure in three months it will be different again.

There were times I wondered if I would have to retire young. My arms trembled all day every day and the pain was immense. My memory was failing badly.  I stumbled, I fell and I stuttered. I could not sleep. I could not eat. I lost 50 pounds. My singing voice was horrible. Wait It already was horrible.

Then a few months ago I went to UCSF and met a new doctor and he changed things for me. Instead of taking medication every 6 hours I now take medication at 7 am, noon and 3 pm. The focus is to get me through the work day as strong and clear of memory as possible. I am glad to say that has helped.

However, 3:00 pm is a long way until 7:00 am therefore I struggle at night. It starts around 9:00 and continues into the morning until my 7:00 dose hits me. So my nights suck. There is no other way to nicely describe it. I hurt, I shake, my muscles ache, I can't sleep and to write in this blog is very difficult due to hand pain and muscle stiffness.

When I do sleep the dreams are horrible and at times I am fighting with someone as I sleep and I have actually punched my wife in my sleep. Some Parkinson's sufferers have had to move their spouse to a new bed because the night time hitting is common. Kris went into the Victim protection plan.

I have gained some weight back but the nausea and gagging I go through each day is yucky. My arms hurt and my legs tremble. Doing everyday chores is very challenging. Just trying to mow my yard leaves me in horrible pain. Therefore there are things that I have not gotten done. YET!

The bible says:

FAITH! It Does not make things easy it makes them possible.
Luke 1:37

I could complain and yell and cry and be angry. Not once have I considered it. WHY? There are so many that have it so much worse. There are those fighting cancer, those who have sick babies and men saying a final goodbye to their spouse. Life is tough for everyone we all have our challenges.

God allows me to be a voice for those with Parkinson's. God knows I have the disease and every night as I walk the halls of this old house he walks with me and he carries me. He gives me strength. More importantly he gives me a wife that is a true love and she brings me so much peace and comfort.

Just as important I have friends like all of you. Some bring me dinner which is so incredible. Some help with things around the house and some even go as far as helping me with my chores at my parents house. That is God working in my life.


When You Go Through Deep Waters, I Will Be With You
Isaiah 43:2

Yes I am worn but God is here and he carries me and someday the struggle will end. The nights will no longer be bad and all that is bad will be gone. God comes  in many forms and when I am swimming upstream in a flood and current that I cannot overcome God is there. Kris is there. You, my friends are there. You are my life jackets and my lifeguards. Late at night you are the light house that guides me back to shore. When the Seas are rough and the waves crash you find me and you carry me so that I can continue "My Journey".

Then like a hero who takes the stage when
We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late
Well let me introduce you to amazing grace

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

Mercy Me