Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Saturday, January 12, 2019
A Very Blustery Beginning
That morning when I got out of bed, it was raining. It rained while I got dressed for school. It rained on my way to school and during all 6 periods of class. As we left for the game there was a break in the clouds but before long it was raining again.
When the game started it rained like never before. For four quarters and a whole half time it rained. We cheered. We yelled. We hoped. We prayed. Our playoff hopes washed away like the chalk marks on the field in the rain storm. We lost.
As we loaded up to head home we were 6 buses of tired wet rooters. I imagined what my fellow classmates must be feeling on the players bus. Here I sat with shoes full of mud and a sad heart but they were covered in mud and their hearts must be hurting just as mine. Not to mention their sore bodies. The bus lights hardly seemed to break the darkness that was ahead of us, but we moved forward into the night and towards an unknown future.
Life has given me many rainy days when I thought the sun would never shine again. Brain surgery, back surgery and now the daily struggles that Parkinson's Disease and Lewy Body Dementia. There are many things in my life I would love to change, things that have set me back and challenges that I had to overcome.
You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the end.
But a diagnosis and prediction of what is to come are just that: A Prediction of what is to come and while I cannot change the past, the beginning, I can change the current situation and I control how it all ends.
No one can do it alone. We all need that someone that carries us or that someone that keeps us focused. Many have asked why it has been a while since my last post/ The challenges of typing are real and so is the pain most the day I cannot make my right arm do what I want it to do. Sometimes I can write sometimes its a scribble. Sometimes I walk well and sometimes I stumble.
We are not alone and Krishna and I are forever grateful for those who continue to bless us and protect us during this Journey. While I lean on God and family, my family leans on God and our amazing friends and community we have the joy of belonging to. The dinners, hugs, calls and so much more are a reminder that we serve a God and a community that is amazing.
What concerns me are those that do not have close family and friends to lean on. Those fighting cancer, isolation due to illness, elderly, those with mental illness and so many others. Have you checked on your neighbor?
Tonight, I celebrate my 28th Anniversary with an amazing woman, a woman who could have easily walked away from all of these challenges but instead chose love and chose to continue on "My Journey".
 |
That morning when I got out of bed, it was raining. It rained while I got dressed for school. It rained on my way to school and during all 6 periods of class. As we left for the game there was a break in the clouds but before long it was raining again.
When the game started it rained like never before. For four quarters and a whole half time it rained. We cheered. We yelled. We hoped. We prayed. Our playoff hopes washed away like the chalk marks on the field in the rain storm. We lost.
As we loaded up to head home we were 6 buses of tired wet rooters. I imagined what my fellow classmates must be feeling on the players bus. Here I sat with shoes full of mud and a sad heart but they were covered in mud and their hearts must be hurting just as mine. Not to mention their sore bodies. The bus lights hardly seemed to break the darkness that was ahead of us, but we moved forward into the night and towards an unknown future.
Life has given me many rainy days when I thought the sun would never shine again. Brain surgery, back surgery and now the daily struggles that Parkinson's Disease and Lewy Body Dementia. There are many things in my life I would love to change, things that have set me back and challenges that I had to overcome.
You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the end.
But a diagnosis and prediction of what is to come are just that: A Prediction of what is to come and while I cannot change the past, the beginning, I can change the current situation and I control how it all ends.
No one can do it alone. We all need that someone that carries us or that someone that keeps us focused. Many have asked why it has been a while since my last post/ The challenges of typing are real and so is the pain most the day I cannot make my right arm do what I want it to do. Sometimes I can write sometimes its a scribble. Sometimes I walk well and sometimes I stumble.
We are not alone and Krishna and I are forever grateful for those who continue to bless us and protect us during this Journey. While I lean on God and family, my family leans on God and our amazing friends and community we have the joy of belonging to. The dinners, hugs, calls and so much more are a reminder that we serve a God and a community that is amazing.
What concerns me are those that do not have close family and friends to lean on. Those fighting cancer, isolation due to illness, elderly, those with mental illness and so many others. Have you checked on your neighbor?
Tonight, I celebrate my 28th Anniversary with an amazing woman, a woman who could have easily walked away from all of these challenges but instead chose love and chose to continue on "My Journey".
I will pledge my heart
To the love we share
Through the good and the bad times too
I'll forsake my rest
For your happiness
'Til my death I will stand by you
To the love we share
Through the good and the bad times too
I'll forsake my rest
For your happiness
'Til my death I will stand by you
With God as my witness
This vow I will make
To have and to hold you
No other to take
For rich or for poor
Under skies grey or blue
'Til my death I will stand by you
This vow I will make
To have and to hold you
No other to take
For rich or for poor
Under skies grey or blue
'Til my death I will stand by you
There are wars and there are rumors
Of wars yet to come
Temptations we'll have to walk through
Though others may tremble
I will not run
'Til my death I will stand by you
Of wars yet to come
Temptations we'll have to walk through
Though others may tremble
I will not run
'Til my death I will stand by you
I will put on the armor of faithfulness
To fight for a heart that is true
'Til the battle is won, I will not rest
'Til my death I will stand by you
To fight for a heart that is true
'Til the battle is won, I will not rest
'Til my death I will stand by you
With God as my witness
This vow I will make
To have and to hold you
No other to take
For rich or for poor
Under skies grey or blue
'Til my death I will stand by you
This vow I will make
To have and to hold you
No other to take
For rich or for poor
Under skies grey or blue
'Til my death I will stand by you
'Til the battle is won
I will not run
'Til my death I will stand by you
I will not run
'Til my death I will stand by you
Thursday, December 6, 2018
So To Honor Him
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt overwhelmed by the things of this world? Where life seemed so hard and no matter what you did, things just wouldn’t go right? I know that in my life when I try to do everything with my own strength alone it does not turn out well. When you are heavy-laden it is like your spirit, mind, will, and emotions can’t function because there is this weight on you that you try to lift by yourself. It causes you to feel down, depressed, anxious, all those negative things that we do not want in life.It is sad that sometimes in life we are so overwhelmed with major burdens the simplest of things can get us down.
Then add to all of this the challenges I face daily with my Parkinson disease and the frustration that comes as the disease changes from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour. Sometimes I walk well and sometimes I stumble. Sometime I talk well and sometime I stutter. Sometimes my arms shake sometimes they will not type on the keyboard and then there are times they work the way I want them to work.
Krishna
The thing that frustrates me is watching the disease take away Ron's energy. I used to watch him run from project to project and never run out of energy, now he gets tired easily and once simple projects are now monumental tasks. Someday's, just bringing in firewood requires a nap and his weekend chore list goes unfinished for weeks at a time.
Ron & Krishna
Then comes the realization that WE are not in charge. The biggest thing that we understand is that even though we have been given this challenge, we still have the opportunity to bless others and bring glory to the God that we love so much. A God that lovingly blesses us each and everyday. So tonight, we would like to announce our way to honor HIM this holiday season and bless others who are fighting a battle with Parkinson's disease.
We have teamed up with UCSF and the National Parkinson's Foundation and will be bringing the first EVER Parkinson's Foundation Forum to Tuolumne County. " And it Shall be for all people."
Invite you to attend a
A Parkinson’s Foundation Center of Excellence
Lets ALL make this journey together. If you know someone with Parkinson's or a Parkinson's Care Giver or even if you or someone you know would like to learn more please join us. I know I would love to see you there. It helps me have hope knowing I have people in my corner. It helps to know that friends and family are carrying us and holding us as we make "My Journey."
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt overwhelmed by the things of this world? Where life seemed so hard and no matter what you did, things just wouldn’t go right? I know that in my life when I try to do everything with my own strength alone it does not turn out well. When you are heavy-laden it is like your spirit, mind, will, and emotions can’t function because there is this weight on you that you try to lift by yourself. It causes you to feel down, depressed, anxious, all those negative things that we do not want in life.It is sad that sometimes in life we are so overwhelmed with major burdens the simplest of things can get us down.
Then add to all of this the challenges I face daily with my Parkinson disease and the frustration that comes as the disease changes from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour. Sometimes I walk well and sometimes I stumble. Sometime I talk well and sometime I stutter. Sometimes my arms shake sometimes they will not type on the keyboard and then there are times they work the way I want them to work.
Krishna
The thing that frustrates me is watching the disease take away Ron's energy. I used to watch him run from project to project and never run out of energy, now he gets tired easily and once simple projects are now monumental tasks. Someday's, just bringing in firewood requires a nap and his weekend chore list goes unfinished for weeks at a time.
Ron & Krishna
Then comes the realization that WE are not in charge. The biggest thing that we understand is that even though we have been given this challenge, we still have the opportunity to bless others and bring glory to the God that we love so much. A God that lovingly blesses us each and everyday. So tonight, we would like to announce our way to honor HIM this holiday season and bless others who are fighting a battle with Parkinson's disease.
We have teamed up with UCSF and the National Parkinson's Foundation and will be bringing the first EVER Parkinson's Foundation Forum to Tuolumne County. " And it Shall be for all people."
AND
Peaceful Journey
The Ronald & Krishna Hamilton Parkinson’s Foundation
Parkinson’s Disease Forum
Speaker:Aaron Daley, MA
UCSF Parkinson’s Disease Clinic and Research Center
This program will include a
PowerPoint presentation on aspects of Parkinson’s disease and its treatments,
followed by an extended Q&A.
Parkinson’s patients, caregivers,
family, friends are all welcome to attend. Community agencies and
representatives from the Parkinson Foundation will also be present.
Free Lunch will be
provided.
Friday, January 25, 2019 11:00-3:00 pm
SIERRA BIBLE CHURCH
Sonora, CA
Please contact Krishna Hamilton
(krishnaron@comcast.net) or 206-3071 to RSVP for this event.
Sunday, September 2, 2018
Keep It Between The Lines
When I was a kid my Dad would take us grocery shopping at night after work. Many times we would take the back way to Safeway, but on many special occasions we would make the adventure up the long winding Shaw's Flat road to Roy's Easy Market. Roy's was a special place because there were so many great memories waiting in the store.
We would park in the dimly lite parking lot and make our way though the heavy creaking double doors. When you walked into the store there were great smells of chicken cooking in the rotisserie, sausage being made and sawdust on the floor. My cousin Jimmy worked in the meat department and I always wanted to ask him why they had sawdust on the floor and why they never cleaned it up.
We would order our meat and chat with Jimmy. More often then not Jimmy would hand me a cold hot dog to munch on while we were shopping. When we were ready to check out Dad would let me buy a candy or soda pop for the long trip home.
The ride down Shaw's Flat Road at night could be a scary one as we never knew if we would see a deer , skunk or even an old porcupine. Some nights when we round the bend by the old cattle corral Dad would turn off the truck and we would coast down the road with no sound, no engine running, no sounds of a truck at all. We would roll down our windows and watch the dark road in his headlights and hang our arms out the window like we were flying.
We were undercover cops looking for bad guys, wild adventurers looking for wild animals and bad guys hiding from the law. Our imagination ran free and there was not car phone or car television to ruin the fun.
As we came to the corner near Golf Links Road Dad would turn the key to on and pop the clutch. BANG! The engine would start and that rusty old truck would carry us over the hill past grandpas ranch and home to Mom for dinner.
There came a day when Dad had me climb up on his lap and he would work the peddles and help me steer the giant wheel that made the tires turn. Then came the big day when Dad would slide to the passenger seat and I was allowed to take the truck for myself. I can still hear his voice as he gave me directions.
He would say " Now son watch the road all the way out where the lights are shining not just where the hood of the truck is. Remember the button on the floor control's the lights. Be slower then the limit and just keep it between the lines." That was a lot to remember for a kid but Dad was right there and I knew he would keep me safe and keep me from straying off the road.
Today, my life is like those early days of driving that old pick up. As I grew God was steering my life but like most kids I eventually took over the wheel and then the pedals that controlled the gas and brakes. I found out fast that when I tried to run it myself I ended up in many accidents.
Then along came marriage, kids and Parkinson's Disease. My days are filled with decisions, weak legs, low energy and the challenges that a disease can present to a man like me. At first on my real bad days I hand the keys to God and said you drive my arms are weak my spirit is low and I am tired.
As Parkinson's takes more control of my body it has not taken control of my mind or spirit. Some days I let God drive and I roll down the window and feel the wind blowing as we quietly float down the road. Other days I sit on Gods lap and he lets me share the wheel and when I am real lucky he sits in the seat next to me and I drive.
God of course is always in control and giving his fatherly advice.The road may be dark and scary and there might be things hiding in the dark but God reminds me to not look to far ahead of me but to focus on all that is in my view, to never run through life to fast and to always keep it between the lines. With God along for the ride I know that I have an amazing life ahead and that he will carry me on "My Journey."
Cause it's a long, narrow road
Only the good Lord knows
Where it leads in the end
But you got to begin
So keep your hands on the wheel
Believe in the things that are real
Just take your time
And keep it between the lines
When I was a kid my Dad would take us grocery shopping at night after work. Many times we would take the back way to Safeway, but on many special occasions we would make the adventure up the long winding Shaw's Flat road to Roy's Easy Market. Roy's was a special place because there were so many great memories waiting in the store.
We would park in the dimly lite parking lot and make our way though the heavy creaking double doors. When you walked into the store there were great smells of chicken cooking in the rotisserie, sausage being made and sawdust on the floor. My cousin Jimmy worked in the meat department and I always wanted to ask him why they had sawdust on the floor and why they never cleaned it up.
We would order our meat and chat with Jimmy. More often then not Jimmy would hand me a cold hot dog to munch on while we were shopping. When we were ready to check out Dad would let me buy a candy or soda pop for the long trip home.
The ride down Shaw's Flat Road at night could be a scary one as we never knew if we would see a deer , skunk or even an old porcupine. Some nights when we round the bend by the old cattle corral Dad would turn off the truck and we would coast down the road with no sound, no engine running, no sounds of a truck at all. We would roll down our windows and watch the dark road in his headlights and hang our arms out the window like we were flying.
We were undercover cops looking for bad guys, wild adventurers looking for wild animals and bad guys hiding from the law. Our imagination ran free and there was not car phone or car television to ruin the fun.
As we came to the corner near Golf Links Road Dad would turn the key to on and pop the clutch. BANG! The engine would start and that rusty old truck would carry us over the hill past grandpas ranch and home to Mom for dinner.
There came a day when Dad had me climb up on his lap and he would work the peddles and help me steer the giant wheel that made the tires turn. Then came the big day when Dad would slide to the passenger seat and I was allowed to take the truck for myself. I can still hear his voice as he gave me directions.
He would say " Now son watch the road all the way out where the lights are shining not just where the hood of the truck is. Remember the button on the floor control's the lights. Be slower then the limit and just keep it between the lines." That was a lot to remember for a kid but Dad was right there and I knew he would keep me safe and keep me from straying off the road.
Today, my life is like those early days of driving that old pick up. As I grew God was steering my life but like most kids I eventually took over the wheel and then the pedals that controlled the gas and brakes. I found out fast that when I tried to run it myself I ended up in many accidents.
Then along came marriage, kids and Parkinson's Disease. My days are filled with decisions, weak legs, low energy and the challenges that a disease can present to a man like me. At first on my real bad days I hand the keys to God and said you drive my arms are weak my spirit is low and I am tired.
As Parkinson's takes more control of my body it has not taken control of my mind or spirit. Some days I let God drive and I roll down the window and feel the wind blowing as we quietly float down the road. Other days I sit on Gods lap and he lets me share the wheel and when I am real lucky he sits in the seat next to me and I drive.
God of course is always in control and giving his fatherly advice.The road may be dark and scary and there might be things hiding in the dark but God reminds me to not look to far ahead of me but to focus on all that is in my view, to never run through life to fast and to always keep it between the lines. With God along for the ride I know that I have an amazing life ahead and that he will carry me on "My Journey."
Cause it's a long, narrow road
Only the good Lord knows
Where it leads in the end
But you got to begin
So keep your hands on the wheel
Believe in the things that are real
Just take your time
And keep it between the lines
Saturday, July 28, 2018
I WAITED
Husbands love your wife
Ephesians 5:25
Editors Note: My sweet wife is out of state this week and I just wanted to write down what I was thinking. I questioned if it was to personal to share but realized my life is one big share. So here it is.
I waited when the alarm went off for you to nudge me to turn it off. The nudge did not come. Two times I pushed snooze but still no nudge. Instead, just a blaring radio on a hot summer day.
I waited for you to stir quietly from your sleep. Stretch, yawn and kiss my cheek on the way to your shower. To run your fingers up my arm like little kisses from your sweet mouth. I waited for you to open those beautiful eyes so I could look into them and find love and compassion. There was no tossing of the blankets. No kiss. No morning hug.
I waited to hear you grind the coffee for your morning dose of energy. I listened for the water to fill the coffee pot, and the smell of your flavor of the day. I heard nothing. Smelled nothing.
I waited to hear the shower come on and for you drop the bottle of shampoo on the floor. Its funny the things I wait for to know that your moving through your morning routine and that you are alright. The water never came on. The shampoo bottle sat safe in its spot on the shelf.
I waited for you to come into the bed room with your cup of coffee and sit on the end of the bed to dry your hair. I waited for the hair dryer as my cue to slide to the end of the bed and curl around you so you could lean against me and we could share that peaceful moment. I would pray for your day as I watched you get ready for your day. I still prayed for you but they were words only God and I would hear.
I waited for you to come into the room and turn on the sink water and burn me as I took my shower and then you would leave and turn off the light forgetting I needed it to see. Instead, I stood there in the running water missing you. Even with the light on it still felt dark.
I waited for your text throughout the day. The morning one that simply says "I HEART U", the noon one that says "Take your meds" and the 3:00 one that says your getting Faith at school. Instead, I was left to remember these things for myself.
I waited for you at the dinner table. I wanted to hear about your day and hear the stories of the silly things you may have done or said at work. Instead, I turned the TV on and watched nothing. I hate the feeling of nothing.
I waited to hold your hand and kiss your soft lips. I wanted to feel your body with mine and hold the edge of your night shirt as I fell asleep. It brings me peace and comfort and reminds me that the world is good and whole and kind. In the moon light I could see nothing but an empty pillow.
I waited in the middle of the night for you to come find me wondering the house in sleepless pain. I waited for you to softly ask if I am alright and if I need anything. Instead, I wondered alone with no whispers in the dark just the thoughts of life and you in my head. Even when I am troubled my thoughts are of you and they bring me comfort.
I waited so long for you that when you are gone I am hopeless. I am only a shell of myself. I am not even half of us because you make up so much more then half. You are the better portion of my life, our marriage and you make me a better man.
I waited for God to bring you to me and now I will wait until he brings you back. Then I will be complete. Then I will have peace and then I can continue "My Journey".
Husbands love your wife
Ephesians 5:25
Editors Note: My sweet wife is out of state this week and I just wanted to write down what I was thinking. I questioned if it was to personal to share but realized my life is one big share. So here it is.
I waited when the alarm went off for you to nudge me to turn it off. The nudge did not come. Two times I pushed snooze but still no nudge. Instead, just a blaring radio on a hot summer day.
I waited for you to stir quietly from your sleep. Stretch, yawn and kiss my cheek on the way to your shower. To run your fingers up my arm like little kisses from your sweet mouth. I waited for you to open those beautiful eyes so I could look into them and find love and compassion. There was no tossing of the blankets. No kiss. No morning hug.
I waited to hear you grind the coffee for your morning dose of energy. I listened for the water to fill the coffee pot, and the smell of your flavor of the day. I heard nothing. Smelled nothing.
I waited to hear the shower come on and for you drop the bottle of shampoo on the floor. Its funny the things I wait for to know that your moving through your morning routine and that you are alright. The water never came on. The shampoo bottle sat safe in its spot on the shelf.
I waited for you to come into the bed room with your cup of coffee and sit on the end of the bed to dry your hair. I waited for the hair dryer as my cue to slide to the end of the bed and curl around you so you could lean against me and we could share that peaceful moment. I would pray for your day as I watched you get ready for your day. I still prayed for you but they were words only God and I would hear.
I waited for you to come into the room and turn on the sink water and burn me as I took my shower and then you would leave and turn off the light forgetting I needed it to see. Instead, I stood there in the running water missing you. Even with the light on it still felt dark.
I waited for your text throughout the day. The morning one that simply says "I HEART U", the noon one that says "Take your meds" and the 3:00 one that says your getting Faith at school. Instead, I was left to remember these things for myself.
I waited for you at the dinner table. I wanted to hear about your day and hear the stories of the silly things you may have done or said at work. Instead, I turned the TV on and watched nothing. I hate the feeling of nothing.
I waited to hold your hand and kiss your soft lips. I wanted to feel your body with mine and hold the edge of your night shirt as I fell asleep. It brings me peace and comfort and reminds me that the world is good and whole and kind. In the moon light I could see nothing but an empty pillow.
I waited in the middle of the night for you to come find me wondering the house in sleepless pain. I waited for you to softly ask if I am alright and if I need anything. Instead, I wondered alone with no whispers in the dark just the thoughts of life and you in my head. Even when I am troubled my thoughts are of you and they bring me comfort.
I waited so long for you that when you are gone I am hopeless. I am only a shell of myself. I am not even half of us because you make up so much more then half. You are the better portion of my life, our marriage and you make me a better man.
I waited for God to bring you to me and now I will wait until he brings you back. Then I will be complete. Then I will have peace and then I can continue "My Journey".
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
John 16:32
I often wonder if those who read these blogs think to themselves 'He often repeats himself", I mean there are thoughts that I have and I wonder if I have ever written them before. However, tonight as I sit here I am confused at what makes people read my blog. I wonder what makes people tick and I wonder why me?
Not in the way you may think. I mean I know that many read this to support me and for that I am forever grateful and cherish the fact that you care so much that you follow this journey. I also know that your love makes me tick. Your reading this blog keeps me focused even though the posts are few and far between lately.
My days are messy. I try to do yard work and I last for 10 -20 minutes and I am beat up and exhausted. My lawn is basically dead. Even moving a sprinkler wears my arms out. I make a list in my mind and I go over it and over it but then my body has different plans and I stumble along and complete very little.
How am I supposed to get firewood ready for winter? How am I suppose to mow what lawn I have left? How am I supposed to fold laundry? So much to do but my arms, legs and body says no way.
Frustrating.
Nights are just as bad. I cant sleep. My aching arms keep up. Leg cramps are a constant enemy. I even got one in my lip the other day. I walk the yard, the front porch, the hallway. I watch the stars, I feel the breeze on my face and I hear the silence of the darkness around me.
I watch Kris sleep.
I said a prayer for you and I said one of my own.
So the ultimate question...Why me? That one is easy. Because God loves me. God knew I was going to get Parkinson's disease and he loved me so much he gave me you. YOU! He gave me Kris, Emily, Danny, and Faith.
AND FAITH!
Faith that believes he put me in a community that loves and protects me and allows me to serve them in whatever way I still can.
We are all going somewhere and God is with us.
"I am not alone because my father is with me."
John 16:32
We all need to decide how we are traveling and where we are going. For me, I am fortunate to know that I travel a road that is not one I travel alone. I travel a road that goes in many directions and I can get anywhere from here.
So if you are like me and you are fighting a battle take comfort and know that God with you and he loves you very much. So do I! He carries us and he makes our lives easier and at the end of the day rest will come.
Tomorrow I will awake. My rest will be little and my body may be tired but my heart will be strong and my mind will be clear. And my spirit? My spirit will carry me as I make "My Journey".
I often wonder if those who read these blogs think to themselves 'He often repeats himself", I mean there are thoughts that I have and I wonder if I have ever written them before. However, tonight as I sit here I am confused at what makes people read my blog. I wonder what makes people tick and I wonder why me?
Not in the way you may think. I mean I know that many read this to support me and for that I am forever grateful and cherish the fact that you care so much that you follow this journey. I also know that your love makes me tick. Your reading this blog keeps me focused even though the posts are few and far between lately.
My days are messy. I try to do yard work and I last for 10 -20 minutes and I am beat up and exhausted. My lawn is basically dead. Even moving a sprinkler wears my arms out. I make a list in my mind and I go over it and over it but then my body has different plans and I stumble along and complete very little.
How am I supposed to get firewood ready for winter? How am I suppose to mow what lawn I have left? How am I supposed to fold laundry? So much to do but my arms, legs and body says no way.
Frustrating.
Nights are just as bad. I cant sleep. My aching arms keep up. Leg cramps are a constant enemy. I even got one in my lip the other day. I walk the yard, the front porch, the hallway. I watch the stars, I feel the breeze on my face and I hear the silence of the darkness around me.
I watch Kris sleep.
I said a prayer for you and I said one of my own.
So the ultimate question...Why me? That one is easy. Because God loves me. God knew I was going to get Parkinson's disease and he loved me so much he gave me you. YOU! He gave me Kris, Emily, Danny, and Faith.
AND FAITH!
Faith that believes he put me in a community that loves and protects me and allows me to serve them in whatever way I still can.
We are all going somewhere and God is with us.
"I am not alone because my father is with me."
John 16:32
We all need to decide how we are traveling and where we are going. For me, I am fortunate to know that I travel a road that is not one I travel alone. I travel a road that goes in many directions and I can get anywhere from here.
So if you are like me and you are fighting a battle take comfort and know that God with you and he loves you very much. So do I! He carries us and he makes our lives easier and at the end of the day rest will come.
Tomorrow I will awake. My rest will be little and my body may be tired but my heart will be strong and my mind will be clear. And my spirit? My spirit will carry me as I make "My Journey".
Thursday, June 28, 2018
TESTIFY TO LOVE
We all have obstacles we must overcome in life. For some, they start when we are young and confront us all of our lives. For others of us the obstacle may change as we age and different obstacles will present themselves. No matter what that obstacle is, it is our own personal challenge and no one else can truly understand our struggle because for some our obstacle is not their obstacle.
I remember one such obstacle that I thought I would never beat. I was in the sixth grade and each day for PE we had to run the J. We knew it was coming right after the second set of jumping jacks but still when we were told to run it was like we were heading into battle for the first time.
What is the J? The J is a simple hill, then a flat area and then a great downhill run. Sounds simple huh? Well that fist climb was my challenge. I would get part way and then poop out. In seventh grade I would run most the way and then let others pass me. It was like I was saying "ok you beat me and I will never overcome."
We travel through life like this don't we? I mean we find something that is hard and when we finally have a chance to post victory we will sometimes sabotage ourselves and let defeat take over. The weird thing is we let stupid little things things defeat us and control us and then a big challenge comes a long I mean a real life challenge and we fight to no end to overcome.
Take for example this blog. It has literally taken me several days to type this short message. Why? Well Parkinson's can act in frustrating ways. Lately my arms have felt like weak limbs hanging by my side. My right arm has especially given me trouble and controlling my fingers is difficult. It is like I have a dead weight on my body that aches and does not want to mind what my brain is saying. My brain tells my fingers what to do and my fingers look at me like I have lost my mind. Its as if they do not want to work.
So the solution could be to get a voice to text program but I don't write that way. You see when I tell you a story I hear it in my mind in a different voice. My voice sounds like an old woman's voice and I don't find it comforting. Plus, I write better when I listen to music and if I am talking I would not be listening. Kinda like a man huh!
So some may ask "Why do you blog if its so much trouble?" Well first of all it helps clear my mind, it allows me to tell my story, it helps me relax and it allows me to testify to you that no matter how bad life gets God is here to love me.
There was a show on television years ago called Touched by an Angel and in an episode Wynnona Judd sang a song called Testify to Love. The song reminds me that no matter who I am or what I am facing I can still somehow communicate. I can testify to Gods love here in my life. Everyday.
Sure I could give up sit in the recliner and say forget about it. I thought about doing that several times this week. But let me ask you...What would that prove.? Who would win? It would prove nothing and I am the loser because then the disease wins. Love loses.
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify
Look around me. I am so blessed by love that I have no choice but to battle because so many are battling for me. With me. This last week my wife took me to a Boxing Class. YUP BOXING. Jared Moss has started a boxing class and his focus is to help those with Parkinson's by working on mind, body and spirit. I did squats, hit a bag and lifted weights. Was it hard? ABSOLUTELY! Did it hurt? FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS! But it felt great!
I am the Pounding Portigue! After just one class I can beat anyone. That is if my right arm will listen and my aching legs will carry me to the battle. The truth is that no matter how much Parkinson's challenges me no matter what obstacles it throws my way I have love helping me Counter Punch the disease. I have family, friends and God loving me so much they are finding solutions. I am running the race. And I am winning.
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silence
Says the words are not enough
With every breath I take
We'll give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silence
Says the words are not enough
With every breath I take
We'll give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every sinful act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart
Will see what love has done
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart
Will see what love has done
That J that once beat me was one day beaten. One day, I took off running and did not look back. I finished first. I beat my mountain and I will beat this one. Each day there will be obstacles and each day God will show me love in those who are here to help me beat the odds. Each day I will overcome and I will learn to walk so that I can run. Then and only then can I continue "My Journey."
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| Watch out Sugar Ray and Rocky Balboa I am on fire. |
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