The Long Journey Ahead

When Krishna's Great Grandpa Miotti left Italy he was not aware that his journey would be such a long one. He traveled through France and then he and his children boarded the ship the Pennsylvania in Champs France on July 23, 1908  and headed to the shores of America. I wonder what he must have felt as he arrived at Ellis Island. Great grandpa Miotti was 41, grandpa was 6 and his sister Matilda was 11.

My mothers great grandpa's brother Captain Samuel Stevens Woodruff  boarded a sooner in New Haven Connecticut to San Francisco in 1849 and headed around the the tip of South America. For 155 days he faced dangers of many kinds including storms, illness and of course the Pirates of the  Carribean.

Over the years the Miotti's  journey would take them across America and George would spend his final days in the small town of Tuolumne. Over the years my families journey would take them to the small town of Jamestown. From those two families came one. The family that Krishna and I now call our own. Their journey took many roads, sailed many oceans and traveled through places we will never see but their Journey is now our journey. My Journey.

To think they would take only what they could carry and head into the world to start a life of possibilities and unknowns. Today many never venture 10 miles from home and yet these explorers  traveled here and I have the great life due to their leap of faith. It must have been a leap after all who would load their kids on a boat and end their journey some 7000 miles from where it started.

I am sure like our life it was not easy. For the past several months you have followed "My Journey" and your responses and love have carried Krishna and I through some difficult days and we would never have made it through the years of set backs had it not been for our amazing God. He gives to us grace when we don't deserve it and his love never waivers.

There are days I've taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn't make again
I've had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life

So tonight I have new news about my Parkinson. For weeks I have shared that I have been in lots of pain. I try to hide it and not let it slow me down but some days it can really challenge me. Two weeks ago at my appointment with the doctor he became concerned as he felt that  the pain was not from the Parkinson's but something else. So I said "I do not have Parkinson's?" He said "no you most certainly have Parkinson's but there is something else with it. Lets do some tests."

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

So Krishna and I laid it at the cross and I had tests. Then the wait. That is always the hard part the wait. Especially wondering "what can it be?" The doctor was looking for a muscular disease and what else we were not sure. But God is faithful and so we trusted. I remember a time when this would have been way overbearing. When fear could could grip us and we would panic. But not this time. This time I felt peace.

You were there when it all came down on me
When I was blinded by my fear
And I struggled to believe
But in those unclear moments
You were the one keeping me strong
This is how my story's always gone

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Through all of it

Today we got the answers. No muscular disease. Praise God! 

And this is who You are                                                                                                                                       More constant than the stars up in the sky                                                                                                            All these years of our lives, I                                                                                                                                      I look back and I see You                                                                                                                                      Right now I still do                                                                                                                                                 And I'm always going to

But wait. Then what. Just today I had trouble with so much pain and my legs of late have been so weak and I have been stumbling more. What is the pain from? Why do I stumble? Is it from the Chiari? After all the surgery was to stop the Chiari but I was told that I would for have lingering symptoms. 

You know that moment in time when you are waiting for an important answer and it a seems like the response is far away and that you will never hear the words? Today, I felt like that. Finally, he says "Well for one the tests show arthritis in the back." I was thinking  cool I can live with that. "But that is not what is really causing your problems, we need to do more tests. But this will be fine."

The bible tells us:

Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalms 27:14

There are times when we can get mad. There are times that we can give up and there are times when we could shout out to God and say why. I could not help but to softly say to the doctor "This will be fine?" 

You must know that my neurologist is a very kind man. He listens to all of my concerns, answers all of our questions and he CALMLY comforts us. He reminded Krishna and I that every Parkinson's patient is different and their daily struggle is different. He said " The symptoms that you thought were from the brain surgery all these years have been from your Parkinson's. The last 10-15 years. It not uncommon for people to have symptoms and not know for years they have Parkinson's. You are like that. All these years you thought you were still struggling from the brain surgery when really you were struggling with the beginning stages of the disease and it was not until it started to worsen that you came in and you were finally diagnosed." 

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy
I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

So yes I have Parkinson's and I have arthritis and I have ...well who knows?  God does and he has known all along what I have and what I need. He has been my God through all of this up to this point and he will be my God through all the rest.

Today, I continued  my journey or some could say it started a new or that it went in a different direction. I am not sure what it did but this is what I do know. No matter what happened today and no matter what happens with the next tests and the next set of results God is with us. I just have to always remember to lay all my hope and all my worries in his hands and he will always be there step by step as I take "My Journey."

Peace Be with you God Loves You and So Do I!