In My Heart

Billy holding Atina, George, Sherri, Ron and Sean in front. I am quite the winker.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be"

Luke 12:34

There is a song that starts..."Way back in my memory there's a scene that I recall..." Tonight my mind runs down that memory and back to a time that seems just like yesterday. A time in my childhood where life seemed simple, easy and free. A life where we were free to run, jump, and grow. Where we learned from our mistakes.

We lived in a place that seemed far away from the middle of anywhere. My parents had an acre of property that connected to my grandparents ranch and across Golf Links road was endless miles of creek beds, animal trails, wooded hideaways and a beautiful mountain that was all ours to explore. With no video games or cable television. A drink was from a garden hose or from the creek.

We would hit the ground running with the rising sun and go until after the full moon came up from behind our mountain. During the winter the creek ran like a river that was full of water and loud roaring sounds that even I could hear. At night, I would lay in bed after a storm and listen to it roar outside my window. During the day we would watch to see if it would flood and run down our driveway and over the road blocking traffic.

 In the summer we would walk in the creek bed looking for gold, eat black berries and explore.
Our summer prizes were the iron pyrite we collected, crystals and an occasional arrow head. We would run through the woods tracking the coyotes, foxes, deer and mountain lions. We played hide and go seek, climb trees and we would swing on the grape vines in soldier creek.

When we skinned our knees we ran to mom. When we were hungry we ran to mom. When we were scared we ran to Dad. When we needed a friend to play with there was a brother or sister always ready for an adventure. There were geese over head in spring and fall and wildflowers under our feet in the summer.

Like the changing season life changed and we grew and we scattered like autumn leaves. Two are mommies and four are daddies. Believe it or not 3 are grandparents. Some of us moved far away and some are still here. I miss those days and I miss those kids.

Recently, I walked hand in hand with Kris on some of those old trails. The creek was gurgling and it just was not a rushing river like it was those winters long ago. The berry bushes are still there and a bit overgrown. I could not help but look for gold and arrow heads. My reward was a beautiful crystal that I some how had not found all those years ago. 

As we walked my step was slower and I struggled to make way through the woods. The boulders that we used to hide behind did not seem so big but the mountain still stood tall and strong. I listened to the sounds of animals, watched the clouds roll overhead and felt the wind on my face. I could feel my past and I could feel blessings in my life.

These days I can't swing on grapevines and I have a hard time running through the fields, cow pasture and I don't climb the big oak trees. However, I can still appreciate what God has given me. The path I follow is a little straight then those I used to run on because my Parkinson's does not allow me to run through those woods at a top rate speed.

I can still have adventures in my life. The bible tells us:

"Seek God's will in all you do and He will direct your path." 
Proverbs 3:6

So as I travel this journey it is good to know that even with a disease that causes me to have stiff muscles, difficulty standing, difficulty walking, difficulty with bodily movements, involuntary movements, muscle rigidity, problems with coordination, rhythmic muscle contractions, slow bodily movement, or slow shuffling gait God holds me up and helps me take those walks through my day and the journey that he has planned for me.

As Kris and I walk out of the woods and through the meadow towards the house that was my childhood home I take a peek back at the trees. The evening shadows are stretching out all around, the birds are flying to the beds in the tall trees and the sun is sinking fast. 

Somewhere behind a tree I think I see a small face peeking out from a great hiding place. I hear giggles and silent shouts from my past whisper through the trees. They run along the creek bank and echo across the mountain tops. They slowly float into my memory and settle in my heart. They are forever locked there. No matter what the days ahead bring Parkinson's will never rob me of my memories and the love I have for those kids hiding behind the large boulders.

God has protected it all in my heart. He has locked the love of my youth away and as I make new memories those memories will not fade and I will take them with me on "My Journey."

Billy, George, Tina, Sean and Ron. Sherri is shy these days.