As my hearing got worse so did my voice and now with Parkinson's my voice is different each day. Someday's I sound normal and other days I have a raspy voice. I can go from Garth Brooks to Bonnie Tyler in just moments. It is not uncommon for Parkinson patients to have voice and stuttering trouble. Sometimes the trembling of the disease evens attacks the tongue making speaking a challenge.
My verbal challenge is also the stuttering that comes late in the day or when I am tired. Parkinson's will do that to you and can cause trouble in communications on the phone. I had a lady yesterday think I was some crazy man calling because I kept falling over my words. I guess my bucket list of singing a solo will have to wait, until then I will shout it out to the Lord here at home. Well until Kris says to stop singing out loud.
When I was a kid I also wanted to be a baseball player. I have mentioned here before that I would spend hours playing and watching baseball. Jack Clark, Dave Dravecky and Tom Seaver were some of my favorites. I could watch them hit and throw the ball on a hot summer day. Sometimes as I listened to the game I imagined I was at short waiting for a smash up the middle for me to dive for so that I could make a great play.
Talent and a bad body did not allow me to play baseball. Instead I played men's league until my brain surgery and now I will probably never play Yankee stadium. But my bucket list would be that I would pitch one more time time even if its just one inning on a Friday night in Standard.
As I have traveled through this journey I have learned that my plans, as good as I think they are, are not anywhere near as great as the plans that God has for me. The bible says:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
Sound simple really. Look at it this way, I may have had googlie eyes for that cute girl in high school but God's plan was for me to meet Krishna. It was a great plan as she has been an amazing partner, friend and loving wife. I wanted to go to the moon but the Apollo missions stopped and I stayed in Sonora. Great plan as I love this community and my church so much.
The same can be said about the bad things in life. For example, I did not want to have a car accident but it made me a better driver. The same can be said about my health. I may not have planned to get Parkinson's disease but it has been an amazing journey. I have grown in my faith, met wonderful people and learned once again how blessed I am by those that God puts in my life.
Proverbs 19:20 Tells us:
"Many are the plans in a mans heart
But it is the Lords plan that prevails."
You see God sketched my life long before I was born. Long ago, Jesus died for me on a cross so that I could live a great life. Because of his love I know that these challenges here on earth will one day go away and I will enter a better place because I am forgiven and blessed by his blood and love. We all to often forget that we are not a a journey to God but we are on a journey with God and though our lives may not be what we planned they are what he planned.
If we put our lives in his hands we will find that the journey will be easier. It will not be struggle free but if we hold tight to his love we will find that the lessons we learn from the struggles make us better and make the value of our lives better. I have set up at night in horrible pain, I have been in the hospital recently because of this disease but I know it is a journey that I walk with God and that he is making me better and showing me a purpose in my life that I did not know existed.
So I wanted to be a singer, I ended up with a horrible voice and I tend to now stutter. I wanted to be a baseball player but I fall down, stumble and my arms are to weak to probably hit a home run. Instead I have Parkinson's disease and somehow I am blessed.
The trouble you are in is not punishment it is training.
Hebrews 12:7
So I will use this training to be a new voice for the Ronald M Hamilton Parkinson's Foundation. They need a strong loud stuttering voice to share the Parkinson's story. I will use this broken body to walk beside those who struggle with Parkinson's and bring awareness to a little known disease to make others aware that in this town there are those in need. Those who are fighting pain, loneliness and frustration.
I may not be able to drive one out of the park but I can drive a Parkinson's friend to an appointment. I can carry their story to you and share the needs of your neighbor and my prayer is that you will become a Parkinson's Partner and help those who need a lift. I did not make this plan, God did. But it is my new life my new plan and "My Journey."
God With Us
Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way
We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains
Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing
My heart no longer can keep from singing
All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us
Lord You know
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford
Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing
My heart no longer can keep from singing
All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us
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