TESTIFY TO LOVE

We all have obstacles we must overcome in life. For some, they start when we are young and confront us all of our lives. For others of us the obstacle may change as we age and different obstacles will present themselves. No matter what that obstacle is, it is our own personal challenge and no one else can truly understand our struggle because for some our obstacle is not their obstacle.

I remember one such obstacle that I thought I would never beat. I was in the sixth grade and each day for PE we had to run the J. We knew it was coming right after the second set of jumping jacks but still when we were told to run it was like we were heading into battle for the first time. 

What is the J? The J is a simple hill, then a flat area and then a great downhill run. Sounds simple huh? Well that fist climb was my challenge. I would get part way and then poop out. In seventh grade I would run most the way and then let others pass me. It was like I was saying "ok you beat me and I will never overcome." 

We travel through life like this don't we? I mean we find something that is hard and when we finally have a chance to post victory we  will sometimes sabotage ourselves and let defeat take over. The weird thing is we let stupid little things things defeat us and control us and then a big challenge comes a long I mean a real life challenge and we fight to no end to overcome.

Take for example this blog. It has literally taken me several days to type this short message. Why? Well Parkinson's can act in frustrating ways. Lately my arms have felt like weak limbs hanging by my side. My right arm has especially given me trouble and controlling my fingers is difficult. It is like I have a dead weight on my body that aches and does not want to mind what my brain is saying. My brain tells my fingers what to do and my fingers look at me like I have lost my mind. Its as if they do not want to work.

So the solution could be to get a voice to text program but I don't write that way. You see when I tell you a story I hear it in my mind in a different voice. My voice sounds like an old woman's voice and I don't find it comforting. Plus, I write better when I listen to music and if I am talking I would not be listening. Kinda like a man huh!

So some may ask "Why do you blog if its so much trouble?" Well first of all it helps clear my mind, it allows me to tell my story, it helps me relax and it allows me to testify to you that no matter how bad life gets God is here to love me. 

There was a show on television years ago called Touched by an Angel and in an episode Wynnona Judd sang a song called Testify to Love. The song reminds me that no matter who I am or what I am facing I can still somehow communicate. I can testify to Gods love here in my life. Everyday. 

Sure I could give up sit in the recliner and say forget about it. I thought about doing that several times this week. But let me ask you...What would that prove.? Who would win? It would prove nothing and I am the loser because then the disease wins. Love loses. 

Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify

Look around me. I am so blessed by love that I have no choice but to battle because so many are battling for me. With me. This last week my wife took me to a Boxing Class. YUP BOXING. Jared Moss has started a boxing class and his focus is to help those with Parkinson's by working on mind, body and spirit. I did squats, hit a bag and lifted weights. Was it hard? ABSOLUTELY! Did it hurt? FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS! But it felt great!

I am the Pounding Portigue! After just one class I can beat anyone. That is if my right arm will listen and my aching legs will carry me to the battle. The truth is that no matter how much Parkinson's challenges me no matter what obstacles it throws my way I have love helping me Counter Punch the disease. I have family, friends and God loving me so much they are finding solutions. I am running the race. And I am winning.

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silence 
Says the words are not enough
With every breath I take 
We'll give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace

Every sinful act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart 
Will see what love has done

That J that once beat me was one day beaten. One day, I took off running and did not look back. I finished first. I beat my mountain and I will beat this one. Each day there will be obstacles and each day God will show me love in those who are here to help me beat the odds. Each day I will overcome and I will learn to walk so that I can run. Then and only then can I continue "My Journey."

Watch out Sugar Ray and Rocky Balboa I am on fire. 

The Hero In You

Just a little something on my mind tonight. I know I have been away for a while but sometimes health can hold you back a little. My hands are not working well these days so typing is a major challenge. So is rest. I have missed this and to be honest this message is way different then most I have written. I know many of my blogs are stories but tonight just something that is zooming through my mind has me sitting here typing. I have missed it so much. 

I want to thank all of you who read this Blog and I promise that starting next week there will be a series of Blogs that will bring you face to face with me and other Parkinson's friends.Stories, information and facts. Mostly the chance for me to reconnect with you and I hope you will come along for the ride. 


We all have it in us but to often we are afraid to take a chance. We are afraid to stumble, look stupid, make a mistake or step out of our comfort zone. We see things we want to change, we see things we want to try and we think of things we want to do but there is too often that voice that says don't do it. Don't blow it.

That my friends is the little voice of evil stopping you from helping others. That is the negative voice that wants to hold you back the voice that wants to keep you from helping your brothers and sister or it is the voice that is trying to hold you back from greatness.

People Need you to stand up and take a chance.

All the lonely people cryin'
It could change if we just get started
Light the darkness, light a fire
For the silent and the broken hearted

When I was a small child I would dream of things I could do that would be cool to help my community, my family and my friends. I never did because I was afraid I would look dumb and later I realized how much I could have helped someone if I had just tried. I remember the first fundraiser I did way back in the 1980's. I planned and organized for a whole month. My goal was to raise thousands of dollars for a dear friend. I was sure bummed when I only raised $1000.00. But then Mr Southard reminded me that it was a whole $1000.00 that my friend did not have to start with. He also reminded me that I did it. I made it happen. 

There's a comfort
There's healing
High above the pain and sorrow
Change is coming
Can you feel it?
Calling us into a new tomorrow

It was a fire that started in me to do more. I felt I had to because so many for so long had done so much for my family. I look at this community and I watch and see so many doing so many great things for other people. There are senior projects to raise money for cancer research., Alzheimer and Parkinson's. 

There are high school kids working a Saturday morning at Luc's Run to raise money to support those who have given the greatest sacrifice. I see the Kiwanis, Rotary and Families giving scholarships. I see people giving blood and I see kids giving time to help Horses Heal, FOAC and so much more. 
They are giving hope. Taking dinner to a neighbor. Mowing a friends lawn and clearing brush for an elderly couple. 

When the walls fall all around you
When your hope has turned to dust
Let the sound of love surround you
Beat like a heart in each of us

Reminds of Gideon. Remember him? Well let me recap the story according to my version.

The story of Gideon starts out with God not being very happy with his people, the Israelite's.  If you remember the Israelite's were the ones God saved from Pharaoh.  The people Moses led across the Red Sea on dry ground.  Hundreds of years had passed since then but throughout all of God's miracles they had experienced, they still did evil in the eyes of the Lord.

There were consequences for these actions.  That means that when they did something wrong God didn't bless them but gave them into the hands of the Midianite's.

The Midianites weren't their friends.  They took or ruined all their crops and animals.  The Israelties had to hide from them in caves.

After Israel had nothing left they finally cried out to God for help.  God heard their cry (like he always does) and had a plan.

The cool thing about all this is that God wasn't happy with the Israelites but He still listened to them and answered their prayer! 

This is where Gideon comes into the story.  He was threshing wheat in a hidden place so that the Midianites wouldn't see him and steal the wheat, when an angel of the Lord came and sat next to him.

The angel spoke to him and said, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior." Gideon was like "you cant be talking to me I am a coward even my family thinks I am a coward. 

"But sir,"  Gideon replied, "if the Lord is with us why is all this bad stuff happening?  Where are all the miracles our fathers (the people that crossed the Red Sea) told us about?"

The Lord replied to Gideon, "Go with all your strength and save Israel from the Midianites.  I am sending you to do it."

Then Gideon started all the excuses. "But Lord, how can I save Israel?  My people are the weakest in Manasseh and I am the smallest and the youngest in my family."

I think God probably smiled here, but He said "I will be with you, and you will defeat all the Midianites together." Then Gideon asked God  So God sent three different signs and Gideon said ok lets do this.

So Gideon gathered up an army and started out for the Midianite camp.  Gideon was probably feeling pretty good about things.  He had lots of men to help him fight and God promised he would help them win.

God had something a little different in mind.  He told Gideon he had too many men in his army. He knew that Israel would think they defeated the Midianites on their own without God's help.

So God said to Gideon, "Announce to the people, 'Anyone whose afraid may go home now'."  Amazingly twenty-two thousand of the men left!  That's a lot of people!  More than half of the whole army went home.  Only ten thousand stayed.

Gideon still felt alright.  At least they had ten thousand men, right?  Not for long.  The Lord told Gideon he still had too many men. When they went down to the water for a drink the Lord told him, "Separate the men that drink the water like a dog and the ones that get on their knees and drink from their cupped  hands."

I'm thinking this took quite a while with all those men but Gideon did it.  It's surprising, but only three hundred men got on their knees and drank from their hands.  All the rest looked silly drinking like dogs!

God told Gideon that he only wanted the three hundred men and the rest were supposed to go home.  This way when they won, the Israelites would know that God was in control with only three hundred men left.  There were 130,000 Midianites against just three hundred of them so he worried and wasn't getting any sleep.  So, God decided to help Gideon and make him feel better about things.

During the night the Lord spoke to Gideon and told him what to do. Long story short he won.

Next time you're in a tough situation know that God can give you strength and he wants to help you.  Just ask and He will!

So that is it. Life is not about how much money you make it is about the relationships we make. The love we share. The people we bless. The love we share. I watch it all and it motivates me to do more for others as I make "My Journey."

Knee Deep In A River But Not Drowning

Imagine for one moment that you are Job. For those who do not know Job let me give you the Cliff notes.

Job is a wealthy man living in a land called Uz with his large family and extensive flocks. He is “blameless” and “upright,” always careful to avoid doing evil (1:1). One day, Satan (“the Adversary”) appears before God in heaven. God boasts to Satan about Job’s goodness, but Satan argues that Job is only good because God has blessed him abundantly. Satan challenges God that, if given permission to punish the man, Job will turn and curse God. God allows Satan to torment Job to test this bold claim, but he forbids Satan to take Job’s life in the process. 

In the course of one day, Job receives four messages, each bearing separate news that his livestock, servants, and ten children have all died due to marauding invaders or natural catastrophes. Job tears his clothes and shaves his head in mourning, but he still blesses God in his prayers. Satan appears in heaven again, and God grants him another chance to test Job. This time, Job is afflicted with horrible skin sores. His wife encourages him to curse God and to give up and die, but Job refuses, struggling to accept his circumstances.

Sounds like a pretty bad day. Well it was. So, Imagine for a moment that you are Job. Today was a rotten day. The dish washer stopped working, the dog bite the mailman and well you mixed the red shirts with the white underwear and the guys at the gym thought it was hilarious. Maybe this is an exaggeration and funny but people have days like this.

People have even worse days then this.

If you are new to this blog let me start by saying I have Parkinson's Disease and there are days that absolutely are terrible. People with this disease all struggle in different ways and each day is different. A few months ago my life was completely different then it was today and I am sure in three months it will be different again.

There were times I wondered if I would have to retire young. My arms trembled all day every day and the pain was immense. My memory was failing badly.  I stumbled, I fell and I stuttered. I could not sleep. I could not eat. I lost 50 pounds. My singing voice was horrible. Wait It already was horrible.

Then a few months ago I went to UCSF and met a new doctor and he changed things for me. Instead of taking medication every 6 hours I now take medication at 7 am, noon and 3 pm. The focus is to get me through the work day as strong and clear of memory as possible. I am glad to say that has helped.

However, 3:00 pm is a long way until 7:00 am therefore I struggle at night. It starts around 9:00 and continues into the morning until my 7:00 dose hits me. So my nights suck. There is no other way to nicely describe it. I hurt, I shake, my muscles ache, I can't sleep and to write in this blog is very difficult due to hand pain and muscle stiffness.

When I do sleep the dreams are horrible and at times I am fighting with someone as I sleep and I have actually punched my wife in my sleep. Some Parkinson's sufferers have had to move their spouse to a new bed because the night time hitting is common. Kris went into the Victim protection plan.

I have gained some weight back but the nausea and gagging I go through each day is yucky. My arms hurt and my legs tremble. Doing everyday chores is very challenging. Just trying to mow my yard leaves me in horrible pain. Therefore there are things that I have not gotten done. YET!

The bible says:

FAITH! It Does not make things easy it makes them possible.
Luke 1:37

I could complain and yell and cry and be angry. Not once have I considered it. WHY? There are so many that have it so much worse. There are those fighting cancer, those who have sick babies and men saying a final goodbye to their spouse. Life is tough for everyone we all have our challenges.

God allows me to be a voice for those with Parkinson's. God knows I have the disease and every night as I walk the halls of this old house he walks with me and he carries me. He gives me strength. More importantly he gives me a wife that is a true love and she brings me so much peace and comfort.

Just as important I have friends like all of you. Some bring me dinner which is so incredible. Some help with things around the house and some even go as far as helping me with my chores at my parents house. That is God working in my life.


When You Go Through Deep Waters, I Will Be With You
Isaiah 43:2

Yes I am worn but God is here and he carries me and someday the struggle will end. The nights will no longer be bad and all that is bad will be gone. God comes  in many forms and when I am swimming upstream in a flood and current that I cannot overcome God is there. Kris is there. You, my friends are there. You are my life jackets and my lifeguards. Late at night you are the light house that guides me back to shore. When the Seas are rough and the waves crash you find me and you carry me so that I can continue "My Journey".

Then like a hero who takes the stage when
We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late
Well let me introduce you to amazing grace

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

Mercy Me

Coming Out Of The Dark

I know this blog is about Parkinson's disease but sometimes I just feel like telling a story from my past. I hope I do not bore you. 


I was not yet 6 years old and to me the hole in the side of the mountain looked dark, strange and scary. There were train tracks going into the hole but instead of a train the tracks held a little metal cardboard box with wheels. Grandpa put a metal mixing bowl on his head and said we were going to go into the hole he called a mine. In one hand he had a light and he took my small hand in his large rough hand.

As we made our way into the opening of the mine I stumbled along, sometimes tripping over the train tracks and other times tripping over my own foot. Grandpa slowed his pace so I could keep up with his stride. He was a man of few words but as we made our way through the dark he would tell me about the rocks and the gold he was looking to find in the walls of the mine.

It was dark and the air was cold against my face. The air smelled like iron or rust and somewhere I could hear water dripping. Grandpa turned his light off so I could see the dark. I thought that was strange because I could not see anything in the dark  so I never really got to see the dark. I thought maybe I could see it better once he turned the light back on but he told me the dark disappeared when the light was on. Once he coughed I jumped out of my skin thinking there was a bear in the mine.

When we finally made it way back into the mountain grandpa showed me all the wonderful rocks that had gold in them. He said he had to blast and hammer to get the gold because sometimes you cannot always see it hiding in the rocks. He said that it took a lot of hard work in the dark mine but he enjoyed the work and sometimes he found great treasures in that dark room in the side of a mountain.

Tonight, I wander the dark halls of the house there is a  disease that moves through my body keeping me forever awake and frustrated. As I move down the halls I bump into walls and stumble over my own feet. I hear the sound of the dish washer, fireplace and Kris sleeping peacefully in the other room. There are times that no matter how much light there is I only see darkness. No matter how I reach out I can't find grandpas hand anywhere.

You see grandpa left us one cold December day. But now that I am older there is so much wisdom in his words. I wonder if he meant for me to find the messages I did or if I am over thinking what his simple words in a dark mine meant so many years ago. In that dark mine we looked for treasures and answers to the mysteries that were hidden there.

 Now as I stand in a dark hallway I look at the wall and ask God for the answers to my questions. Some may wonder if God is with them on dark nights like this and if he has the answers they are looking for to all their questions.

Here is the real treasure.....God is there with you. The bible says:

God made two great lights--the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.

Genesis 1:16


So matter how dark our days or our nights are God is the light. HE is the hope and he is the treasure that so many people seem to think is hidden somewhere and cannot be found. But he is easily found anytime. Anywhere. He can turn on a light and the dark will be gone.

God takes my heart where it wants to go. In the dark of night he is there and easy to find all we have to do is call him. He is there and he loves us. The chains of life do not need to control us. The weight of a disease or stress can be broken by his love. All we have to do is call him. He is there.

Sometimes I see a hole in a hill or in the side of a mountain and I stop for a moment to look at the darkness. I can see the cool air, and smell the the iron rich ore as the water drips from the ceiling. Then in the back of the mine I hear a cough and wonder if its a bear. Then I realize that he is not really gone. For his wisdom and his words live in my memory and they carry me as I make "My Journey." 

Do All Deeds With Love

Photo By: R Hamilton

As the winter snow would turn to spring rain it was a busy time at my grandparents little ranch. There were baby lambs being born, a calf that seemed to suddenly appear over night and the eggs in the hen house would not be collected for a while as this time of year they would be allowed to hatch with chicks that in the fall would become meat for a great winter soup.

Grandpa would spend hours with the rototiller in the garden and then he formed rows with small ditches for the water. Tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, peas and string beans to name a few of the great vegetables he would grow in what seemed to be the biggest garden ever planted. Out in the front of the house he would plant strawberries.

During the long hot summer grandpa would sit and run the hose down those little rows so that his crop would grow. I remember watching him bent over for hours pulling weeds, chasing gophers and now and then he would wave off a bird or two. Under his ever watchful eye tomato worms were collected, grasshoppers were killed and the ever pesky moles were trapped.

We kids would run around him waiting for a prize to be handed out for us to enjoy. He would give us small tomatoes to plop in our mouths, peas to strip from their pods to eat raw and sometimes a piece of corn sweet on the cob.  I can still taste the sweet strawberries from grandpas front fruit patch. They were big, red and full of wonderful juice.

As summer turned to fall the garden would slowly be put into jars and put in the basement under the house. The walls of the basement were made of dirt and there were shelves with little jars of jams everywhere. I can still remember going to the berry patches with my grandma on my birthday and picking blackberries and then spending the next day canning them for the upcoming winter.

Like the seasons in the garden life changes and all to soon grandpa and then grandma were gone. Soon it was my Dad with a garden and my kids were helping Papa plant his tomatoes and peas. They pick basil, squash and green beans. A new generation creates their memories. My brother plants his prize vegetables with his grand kids and the circle continues.

The bible says:

 Let all that you do be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16:14

I am horrible at gardening, It takes a person that is patient and has a bit of a green thumb. I stand there and wonder why in the world it is taking so long for the vegetable to grow. I forget to water and the weeds take over. Eventually, I go to my dads garden and pick a tomato and find victory.

In my struggle with Parkinson's I have found that life is a lot like grandpas garden. Some days, the ground is soft and easy to plow. The seeds grow perfectly and the fruit is sweet on the vine. Other days there are big weeds, hot weather and set backs. 

Someday's my body aches. Someday's I stumble. Someday's I have endless pain nightmares and like yesterday sleepless nights that seem to never end. I lay in bed and wonder when the sun will come up and realize that with the sun light there is a new day with new challenges and new struggles.

With that sunrise also comes a day that will also hold many victories. I might stumble but I get up. I might have nightmares but I can also have wonderful dreams about Kris and the kids. When the sun comes up I am reminded that God was wide awake with me.

I may not be able to plant a garden of tomatoes and peas but God has given me the ability to work towards a harvest. Instead,I can serve others by cooking for them. I can serve others by writing about a disease that silently attacks people and is not always seen by others. I can serve others with prayer and love. 

There is a song that says:

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

You see we do not have to have a plot of land to harvest a crop. You do not have to have Parkinson's to fight a battle and overcome challenges. That is my battle.  Everyone has a challenge they overcome and everyone has a service they can provide. The decision we must make is do we allow obstacles stop us or do we learn and grow from them. 

Tonight, I will sleep very little. I may have nightmares, leg cramps, pain trembling and frustration. However, As I struggle through the darkness God will be with me. He will water his garden. He will produce sweet fruit on the vine  and he will move with me through the days and nights and into each new season and together we will make "My Journey".

Tonight's Song

Worn

Tenth Avenue North

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

Food For Thought

Sometimes I get off track and ramble about my life and miss that this blog is supposed to offer information about Parkinson's Disease. So tonight I thought I would talk about diet as I have found that many people, including those with Parkinson's do not realize that your medications can be impacted by the food you eat.

To try and include all the info in one post would be to overwhelming and boring and by all means I believe I am anything but boring. So tonight I will start a series of information about Parkinson's. I am also excited to say that I will be being joined by others fighting this yucky disease and tell you there stories. Over the course of a few weeks I will alternate back and forth between my story and the story of others.

I am a pizza freak and could eat it everyday if I was allowed to do so. However, truth be told most days I do not eat breakfast or lunch. I know that is not  a good plan but I am often really nauseated and food does not sound like something I want to put in my body. Maybe that is why from July to February I lost 50 pounds. The good news is I have gained some back as I am slowly trying to change my eating habits.

I believe that God started man in the Garden of Eden because all of the illness and disease can be cured or at least made better by our diet. Everything in moderation right!

The medication levodopa (Sinemet) is a protein building block so it competes for absorption with other proteins. Eating a very high protein meal reduces the likelihood of effectively absorbing levodopa, so you may want to leave meat, fish and cheese for dinner and eat more carbohydrates and vegetables during the day. Taking medication on an empty stomach -- 30 minutes before or 60 minutes after a meal -- allows the drug to reach the small intestine and absorb faster. However, a carbohydrate snack (crackers, toast, oatmeal) with the medication may be necessary to prevent nausea.

This list of foods to avoid includes:  aged cheeses: aged cheddar or Swiss, blue cheeses, Camembert fermented cabbage: sauerkraut, kimchi, soybean products, including soy sauce, cured, fermented or air-dried meats or fish.

Antioxidants are one of those "good for you" things you hear about all the time. They're molecules that clear out free radicals -- toxic substances formed from stresses like air pollution, sunlight, cigarette smoke and even the process of converting food to energy. Oxidative stress is a biological condition caused by too many free radicals. It's associated with aging and Parkinson's disease, so a diet high in antioxidants may offset oxidative stress and cellular damage.

Antioxidants are present in: vegetables: artichokes, okra, kale, bell peppers, potatoes, fruits: berries, pears, apples, grapes, grains, eggs, legumes: kidney beans, edamame, lentils, nuts: pecans, walnuts, hazelnuts.

Staying hydrated is important, but if drinking water leads to urinary urgency, try eating foods with a high water content in place of beverages, such as celery, butternut squash, grapefruit, strawberries and watermelon.·          

·    Snack on small quantities of walnuts, cashews and other nuts to promote brain health. Also try to incorporate berries, which contain beneficial antioxidants, and foods that may have anti-inflammatory effects in the brain, like salmon, tuna and dark, leafy green vegetables.

Talk to your doctor about the right option for you, such as taking the drug on an empty stomach or with a small snack, such as crackers or applesauce.

·     People with PD may eat less and lose weight because of difficulty swallowing, nausea from medications or movement symptoms that make it difficult to eat. Address these issues, and also consider adding foods with healthy fats — nuts, nut butters and avocado — to your diet. Try bitter greens or spicy foods to stimulate your appetite. Exercise to increase hunger.

·     PD symptoms such as tremor, stiffness or difficulties swallowing may make eating certain foods challenging. Try eating foods that are easy to swallow. Put dishes on rubber mats to prevent them from slipping. Try weighted utensils and cups or using cups with lids or straws.  

      

      I know this is a lot of information and can be a bit boring but it is important to know. Tomorrow I will blog about what a great blessing the community was to our foundation this past weekend. So many great people. So many Great blessings. I love all of you and so does God.                          

·         

Sketched and Planned

I wanted to be a singer when I grew up after all I was in choir and in all the plays and on my best day I could sing like John Denver. I would sing all day and at night my brother would yell at me to shut up and go to sleep. It is still the same way. I sing all day long and late into the night. I put my ear phones on and jam with Mercy Me, Don Williams and Five For Fighting.

As my hearing got worse so did my voice and now with Parkinson's my voice is different each day. Someday's I sound normal and other days I have a raspy voice. I can go from Garth Brooks to Bonnie Tyler in just moments. It is not uncommon for Parkinson patients to have voice and stuttering trouble. Sometimes the trembling of the disease evens attacks the tongue making speaking a challenge.

My verbal challenge is also the stuttering that comes late in the day or when I am tired. Parkinson's will do that to you and can cause trouble in communications on the phone. I had a lady yesterday think I was some crazy man calling because I kept falling over my words. I guess my bucket list of singing a solo will have to wait, until then I will shout it out to the Lord here at home. Well until Kris says to stop singing out loud.

When I was a kid I also wanted to be a baseball player. I have mentioned here before that I would spend hours playing and watching baseball. Jack Clark, Dave Dravecky and Tom Seaver were some of my favorites. I could watch them hit and throw the ball on a hot summer day. Sometimes as I listened to the game I imagined I was at short waiting for a smash up the middle for me to dive for so that I could make a great play.

Talent and a bad body did not allow me to play baseball. Instead I played men's league until my brain surgery and now I will probably never play Yankee stadium. But my bucket list would be that I would pitch one more time time even if its just one inning on a Friday night in Standard.

As I have traveled through this journey I have learned that my plans, as good as I think they are, are not anywhere near as great as the plans that God has for me. The bible says:

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Sound simple really. Look at it this way, I may have had googlie eyes for that cute girl in high school but God's plan was for me to meet Krishna. It was a great plan as she has been an amazing partner, friend and loving wife. I wanted to go to the moon but the Apollo missions stopped and I stayed in Sonora. Great plan as I love this community and my church so much.

The same can be said about the bad things in life. For example, I did not want to have a car accident but it made me a better driver. The same can be said about my health. I may not have planned to get Parkinson's disease but it has been an amazing journey. I have grown in my faith, met wonderful people and learned once again how blessed I am by those that God puts in my life.

Proverbs 19:20 Tells us:

"Many are the plans in a mans heart 
But it is the Lords plan that prevails."

You see God sketched my life long before I was born. Long ago, Jesus died for me on a cross so that I could live a great life. Because of his love I know that these challenges here on earth will one day go away and I will enter a better place because I am forgiven and blessed by his blood and love. We all to often forget that we are not a a journey to God but we are on a journey with God and though our lives may not be what we planned they are what he planned.

If we put our lives in his hands we will find that the journey will be easier. It will not be struggle free but if we hold tight to his love we will find that the lessons we learn from the struggles make us better and make the value of our lives better. I have set up at night in horrible pain, I have been in the hospital recently because of this disease but I know it is a journey that I walk with God and that he is making me better and showing me a purpose in my life that I did not know existed. 

So I wanted to be a singer, I ended up with a horrible voice and I tend to now stutter. I wanted to be a baseball player but I fall down, stumble and my arms are to weak to probably hit a home run. Instead I have Parkinson's disease and somehow I am blessed. 

The trouble you are in is not punishment it is training. 
Hebrews 12:7

So I will use this training to be a new voice for the Ronald M Hamilton Parkinson's Foundation. They need a strong loud stuttering voice to share the Parkinson's story. I will use this broken body to walk beside those who struggle with Parkinson's and bring awareness to a little known disease to make others aware that in this town there are those in need. Those who are fighting pain, loneliness and frustration.

I may not be able to drive one out of the park but I can drive a Parkinson's friend to an appointment. I can carry their story to you and share the needs of your neighbor and my prayer is that you will become a Parkinson's Partner and help those who need a lift. I did not make this plan, God did. But it is my new life my new plan and "My Journey."


 God With Us

MercyMe

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way

We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord You know
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay it at Your feet
Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay this at Your feet

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
My debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us