Let It Snow

MERRY CHRISTMAS

May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit.

Romans 15:13

It is early December and cold outside. I am about 10 maybe 11 and I am in the kitchen making hot chocolate to carry in the air pump thermos. My big brother Billy is yelling from the living room to hurry up or we will not be going. I holler back that he will thank me later if he will just hang on one stinking minute.

Today is a big day as we are headed to my grandparents property to get our Christmas tree. Usually the whole family would go but today was different, it would just be Billy and I making the trip up Bill Hill to the property where my grandparents own a few gold mines. Yes that is true Gold Mines, their gold is even in the Smithsonian.

The property up on Bill Hill holds many great memories of exploring with my siblings and with my cousins the Jardin's. We could spend hours running along Five Mile Creek and through the old apple orchard. We were mountain men, cowboys and great explorers of a long time ago. In the fall there were lady bugs to trap and apples to pick. In the summer we would follow grandpa into the mine to cool ourselves from the summer heat.

Those were now days long gone as grandpa had passed and today it was just Billy and I making new memories and setting out on what was sure to be a big adventure. With Christmas right around the corner we were tasked with finding a tree for our house and a smaller one for grandma. Now I was holding up the show and it was now raining and getting colder.

Once we arrived at the property we had to hurry and find a great tree and get going because an El Camino can get stuck pretty easy on a muddy snowy road and it did feel like snow would fall at any minute. There were no cell phones, neighbors to borrow a phone from and no AAA to come to our rescue if we got stuck.

We rushed up hills and slid in the mud down steep paths made by ancestors of a long time ago. The tree had to be perfect and fit inside the car and the living room. Suddenly, there it was. It was about 8 feet tall and and smelled like the perfect Christmas tree. A cedar with big bushes branches and boy was it wet. Billy made fast work of chopping it down and then we got one for Grandma Hazel too. Then the long walk back to the car. It was now snowing.

I was not much help as I was about 80 pounds and that was soaking wet so a large cedar like we had was a challenge to get to the car. The snow was sticking to the ground, the trees and to our uncovered heads. It was cold. Suddenly Billy stopped and whispered "Listen!" I froze as I was terrified we would run into one of those bears or mountain lions that I had heard so many stories about from my aunts, uncles and parents.

After what seemed like an eternity I said "What do you hear Billy?" " Nothing! Nothing but the silence of a winter snow storm." My whole body felt relief and the grin on his face let me know we were safe. Soon the trees were loaded and we slipped and slide our way up the old dirt road. Chatting about the adventure and drinking amazing hot chocolate. We were heroes, we were bringing Christmas trees home to decorate. Soon they would be covered with old ornaments, tinsel and lights.

Life is a little different today. The old mine was sold, Billy and I grew up and now we have children and he has grandchildren.  Amazing how fast the years fly by but we will tell the stories of the past about ancestors who mined for gold and how we saved Christmas.

There is one thing that remains the same, the opportunity to save Christmas. I do not mean we should all run to an old forest and cut a tree down but instead we should still find a way to save Christmas for a child, a mommy or a daddy. Save the day for a person down on their luck after all we have ALL been there.

Think about this, Christmas is a celebration of a baby coming to earth and loving us. All of us no matter what. The greatest lesson Jesus taught us was that we must serve each other and bless each other. He did. He healed the sick, brought sight to the blind and most importantly he loved us so much he died for us. He loved us no matter what and he wants us to show our love by helping others.

So tonight this blog is simple. How will you serve and bless someone this Christmas season? Its not too late and you do not need money. You can serve at a Christmas eve dinner, take dessert to a local fire station to men and woman working away from the families to keep you safe or you can hand that family with a sign a gift card to use for a hot meal. There really are many homeless that need our love and support.

Then there are the elderly. They are lonely. Knock on their door. Have them over for dinner, take them a card or socks or just stop and say hello. Call your parents. Adopt a family, a puppy or a kitten. 

Glory to God in the highest and on Earth peace good will towards men.

Luke 2:14

I have so much to be thankful for even with the challenges I face each day.  I know just how blessed I am to have a God that loves me so much that he allows me to serve others even when I have limits. I will forever remember that Christmas trip to find a tree. I also remember the Christmases when people blessed our family with love and support. They are memories forever kept in my heart and soul. Memories that I will carry with me as I make My Journey.

Storms Of The Soul

The Lord will be a refuge and a hiding place from the storm and the rain.

Isaiah 4:6

As a child I could lay for hours and watch  the afternoon thunderheads that slowly rose over the Sierra Nevada mountains. It happens most warn days as the warm summer air makes its way east it collides with the cool mountain air and large billowing white clouds raise up into the atmosphere.

As a kid I could lay on the lawn for hours and watch the clouds and pretend they looked like different things. I saw elephants, lions, mickey mouse and horses. I also saw angels, bears and I always saw God.

Late in the evening the clouds would turn brilliant colors at sunset.Gold, orange and pink. It reminded me of fall, ice cream and cotton candy. By the way have you ever made cotton candy. I did recently and it is not so easy. I was making it with a friend and it was all over the place. In our hair, in our eye brows and even on the ceiling. Fun times.

If you are  lucky and the clouds make their way done the hill you have wonderful afternoon thunder storm.The storms can be fierce. Loud thunder, down pours of rain and lightening. Tree limbs break, the wind roars and the water washes away the dirt that is blowing in the air. Its a storm of amazing magnitude and if you are lucky you can stand right in the middle of all the excitement and dance in the warm storm as mother nature rains down on its earth and cleans it up and causes change. The air is pure, the dead limbs are gone and sometimes wild fires start.

Life can be like this. Some of us can have an occasional storm while others fight daily storms that challenge them completely. The amazing thing is we do not always know the storms that others face. Why? Well there are many reasons some keep it personal, some use an umbrella and block the rain and wind and kind of hide there in that safety net and yet there are others who stand in the middle of the storm and dance.

Some days I hide under an umbrella and keep my troubles to myself and use the umbrella like Gods shield as a way to keep my pain and worries to myself. It is amazing how God can protect us in our time of frustration and loss. I get frustrated because I can't always do the things I used to do. My body is not as strong as it once was and when I try to do yard work or physical labor I really hurt later and pay for it dearly. It takes longer to complete projects and there are even projects I cant attempt to start because I don't want to face the hurting back, throbbing hip pain or the leg pain that I know will follow the simplest  of tasks.

Then there are the days I say heck with it and I dance in the storm. I just throw it all to the wind and go for it. Does it hurt? Yup! Do I loose sleep? Absolutely. Then why do I do it? Partly because I am really stubborn, I get that from my Dad, and I want to get projects done. The other reason is I don't want to give in to reality. The reality that I have limits and I have to face it.

The days that I over do it and find myself suffering from the pain and challenges I feel this storm deep inside my soul. A storm of frustration and confusion. The wind moves through my mind and erases memories. It erases things I need to remember. That is the Parkinson's. It is a storm that is not always visible, but for me, it is always there. Always in my soul.

Jesus calms our storms, even the wind and the rain obeys him

Matthew 8:26

So what do I do? How do I survive? How do I not allow it to consume me? I turn it over to God. It is that easy. I have Parkinson's disease it does not have me. Really it does not. If I was to sit and worry or sit and let it control me then the disease wins. Instead, I came to the realization that Parkinson's may cause challenges but GOD can overcome.

So if the disease progresses then God is in control. No matter the challenges I travel with God and I weather the storm and I write blogs and I help those in my community in ways that I can give to them so they can overcome obstacles. No matter how much mobility or memory I lose I still have words and on days that it is challenging to type, like tonight, I will type slower. For the words give me peace. They calm me and give my mind and my soul an avenue to share with you the love I have for you, God and my life that I have been blessed with.

There will always be storms and as I watch the wind blow the leaves from their branches and out into the world I realize that the winds of life are an obstacle that wants to challenge us and the leaves are us as we float through the air and through life twisting and turning.

And one day when old age has settled into my body and my arms and legs no longer do as they are told I will know that my life on this earth has neared its end.

Slowly, the cold wind will erase the memories that are locked away deep in my mind and they will be lost forever. But the memories that God has placed in my heart will continue to live on. Forever. My heart will hold memories of a community that has carried me, friends that have blessed me and family that has loved me.

Most importantly it will hold the sounds of my children's laughter. It hold memories of two beautiful daughters and an amazing son. It will hold the memory of the greatest blessing that God ever gave me. And though my mind will forget my heart will remember. It will remember long sunny days, warm spring rains and fields of wildflowers.

All these memories of warm days, summer rain storms and  beautiful pictures but none will match the memory I have of my loving wife. A wife with a sunny smile, a warm heart and beauty that is unmatched. My heart will remember that loving smile, her gentle touch and how her hand fit so perfectly in mine as I made my way on "My Journey."

Blessings In Disguise

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed."

Isaiah 54:10

Editors Note: I have held back and been cautious about what I should share. Tonight, I am stepping outside a very comfortable zone and will start with my pain. Over the next few blogs I will talk about my physical challenges, speaking and eating challenges and finally the hardest one my memory.  Remember each Parkinson's sufferer is different and each day can be a different challenge. 

Have you ever stood in a crowded room and felt all alone? Had a conversation and wonder after it was over what was said? Have you ever wondered ? I mean really wondered? I ask myself lots of questions and I ask God lots of questions about all that is in my life and sometimes I wonder can he hear me? Can he really understand what I am asking?


When I started "My Journey" I was eager to share and chat about all that Parkinson's was doing to me and for me. Yes, FOR ME!. Even when you are dealt a bad hand there are still great things that come into your life and we must learn to embrace it all good and bad.

One of the greatest challenges for me recently is knowing what I should share. Not that any of it is embarrassing or that I have any secrets. Anyone that knows me knows that all they have to do is ask and I will openly share all that I face. I will also share all that God has done in my life during this challenge. 

People have many reasons why they keep information about illness private. One reason may be embarrassment. Another may be privacy. Then there is the concern that others may not understand. There is also the worry of being judged. No matter what the reason these concerns can be real and personal. 

For me, all of the above can be part of why I have been a bit silent about the news lately. There is also the fact that I thought I could hide my challenges well. I mean to look at me I actually look pretty good. I have lost 35 pounds and the meds have helped with the trembling. Of course the weight loss was not planned but that's what you get with a new disease and new medications. 

Then this week there was the realization that I am not fooling those who know me best and one who sees me daily said "you really are not hiding it we just are making this journey with you and not judging the situation but praying with you."  

So here is what has been happening lately in my life and in the life of those who make this journey with me.

My greatest challenge is pain. Ever since my brain surgery I have had continual challenges with pain. However, over the last year I have really struggled with hip, back, leg and arm pain. My leg cramps can be awful as well.  I thought that I must have lifted something wrong and tweaked something but it does not go away. So in August they started looking for a muscular disease. This can be scary and it was something I chose to not share.

Those tests came back negative. That is great but what is it?

According to the American Parkinson's Disease Association:

Of the many symptoms of Parkinson’s disease (PD) that can be disabling, pain can be among the most severe. Not only is pain typically not recognized as a manifestation of PD thereby resulting in tedious, extensive and often fruitless evaluations to identify the etiology, but once identified as PD related, effective treatment can be elusive.

It is estimated that approximately 10% of people with PD will have pain as their initial presenting symptom, preceding any motor complaints. Furthermore, recent published data suggests that up to 50% of patients manifest significant painful sensations during the course of their PD. The challenge for physicians and patients is to recognize when these complaints represent a component of another serious illness and when it may be a non-motor feature of PD. This is especially difficult because the painful symptoms may mimic other painful conditions such as a low back pain, sciatica, joint aching, dental pain, gynecologic discomfort and abdominal discomfort. 

It is shown that 82% experience pain with their illness and the pain they experienced is often severe. Interestingly, for younger patients (those under the age of 60), the most frequently cited areas of pain were the shoulder and foot. For those over the age of 60, it was the neck and/or back.

When a PD patient faces pain as a symptom, a thorough and frank discussion with the neurologist should take place. 

My neurologist said that we had to take a step by step process to rule out what was causing the pain. Too often PD patients suffer from pain and do not report it because PD comes with pain but sometimes that pain can be caused from something else so you must investigate it. 

I had a CT scan and it showed arthritis in my back but it was not believed to be the issue. Next Physical Therapy. After the first session my therapist said this is probably not going to work. I last three sessions. The next step MRI to determine if its my body, back or what? If this comes up inconclusive then we know its the Parkinson's. 

 Late night and daily leg and arm cramps are constant as well. This is not unusual for PD sufferers and at times it like the are twisting my feet off my legs. Last night I found that if I put my shoes on the twisting stops but the leg cramp continues.

One thing that helps is taking a spoon full of mustard. No sugar. Straight mustard. Often that calms the pain down. Interesting that a little mustard seed can produce relief. But what does the bible say about faith and a mustard seed? Look in the book of Matthew.

 What does the bible say about any of this? There are so many challenges. So many sleepless nights I have sat in pain and prayed for guidance, relief, and wisdom. I must admit one night I even asked God to "Please appear right this minute and give me a hug." At least I said please.  There are many sleepless nights for me during this journey but I never feel alone.

The bible says:

God is able to meet all my needs.
2 Corinthians 9:8

He does just that. He puts his shield around me and he sends me what I need. Peace found in friendship. Grace in times of pain and embarrassment. A wife that is so perfect! I cant believe that I was blessed to live with such a perfect love. The love that God sends to all of us. In the worst of times I face each day with the challenges and I face them because God is with me.

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

So today was rough. Tomorrow is a new day. I am not sure what will happen between now and tomorrow when the sun comes up or what will happen over the next few years of my life. But what I do know is that all things that we are presented with in life are blessings. They make us stronger and they make our faith stronger.

I know everyone faces challenges so I pray you find peace and understanding. Most of all I pray that you will continue to find comfort in your relationship with God to tell him your needs and place them at the cross. Tell God how much you love him and let him work in your life. He has great plans for us and I know that what he has for me will be amazing and will carry me as I make "My Journey."

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Sweet Child Of Mine

 

                       I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

John 1:4

If I had just done the math all those years ago I would have maybe realized that one day, in the not so distant future, they would turn 21 and 25 on the same weekend. The miracle of it all is how fast it went and how proud they make me. DAILY!

        

She was born at 9:02 November 6, 1992. I still remember that day as if I am 27 and it was tonight. It was a beautiful fall day and her grandparents were all at the hospital waiting. The leaves were red, orange and yellow and it was a windy day. A perfect day to have a baby. I still remember the doctor allowing me to help deliver her and lay her on her mommies chest. There were many tears of joy.

 

He was born at 9:02 on November 5, 1996. What a day. I went to vote and told the officials Krishna was a little busy. The next thing I knew the official walked in with a ballot and Kris voted between contractions. Then here he came and as true to what Danny would always be the next day was funny and crazy all at once. We had three television crews in our room and we were on Good Morning America. It seems voting while in labor is big news. Emily turned four during all the commotion and was on TV for her birthday.

It has been so much fun and excitement everyday since. We have taken small trips, laughed, cried, got dirty raising pigs, got cleaned and saved by Gods grace. Along the way we cheered for our kids, they cheered for their Giants and added a baby sister that is a blessing to us all.

Life is so cool. No matter the struggles and worries God is always their to protect and save us and give us grace when we make mistakes. Of course he is, as the bible tells us all about children and the fact they are a gift from heaven.

  

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord....

Psalm 127:3

All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace.

Isaiah 54:13

We have over come many obstacles and been blessed by a whole community that has helped us raise them to be good kids....ADULTS.

So happy birthday to my two ADULTS. May God carry you far on your Journey. May you have enough tears to help you enjoy the laughter more, may you have enough sun to dry your rain and may you always know that no matter what...You have a God a Mommy and a Daddy that love you very much. YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD!

Thank you for picking me to be your dad and thank you for blessing me as I make "My Journey."

 

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!

Three Little Words

WHAT THREE WORDS CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

Life is crazy. I mean you can be a kid and your mom yells TIME FOR SCHOOL! And your in kindergarten and eating graham crackers with milk and learning to read and suddenly you hear three little words can change your life. WELCOME FRESHMAN CLASS.

Life moves so fast and the thing that amazes me the most are the three word sentences that can change everything. Think of those sentences that have so much impact on our lives. Meet your brother. Meet your sister. Can I drive?  Welcome to college. You free Saturday? I love You! Kris Marry me. Yes, I do! Kiss the bride. I am pregnant. Its a girl! Name her Emily. Its a boy!  Name him Danny.

Then you can be cruising through life 34 years old and bouncing your baby on your knee and the words change:

You need surgery!
Its your spine!
God is great!
Its a girl.
Name her Faith!

Then your world changes, you are 52 and watching your kids become adults and your wife becoming more and more beautiful with age. You can be attending volleyball games and 4-H meetings and church and family dinners and suddenly three little words can change your life! You have Parkinson's.

I know it sounds dramatic but it is amazing that we can say "oh I might have this set back but it will not control me". But we find that some days it does. The simplest of things can be such a struggle and no matter how we try to hide our troubles those that really love us still see our struggles and they are there and they say CAN I HELP? Let me say that again....Those who really know us and love us are there and they see the struggles that we try to keep secret and the challenges we are fighting and they are there to love us.

I am not just talking about Parkinson's but about so much more. I can't walk through a single day of my life that I do not see a friend or neighbor struggling with their own challenges. Cancer. The loss of a daughter. Financial challenges. Loneliness. That was just today. I know we all have struggles but when I see what a friend is going through and it makes my challenges seem so minuet.

Think about this....I take up to  25 pill a day. I have lost 37 pounds. I only sleep about 4 hours a day. I stumble. I shake. I trip. I choke on my food. I slur my words. I am in pain. I get confused. I get leg, arm, foot and shoulder cramps. My legs get weak.

My friend who is fighting cancer takes 5 times that many pills a day plus chemo. He has lost 60 pounds. He spends days with endless vomiting. Sleep is pointless. His bones are achy. His muscles burn. and so much more. How does he do it?

Then I remember where I live. Then I remember my wonderful community. My family. My friends. I am reminded that yes all of these people have their daily struggles but we are blessed because we have such a great support group in this little town. A hand shake. A hug. A wink. A smile. I am praying for you.

Oh course there is also the obvious:

GOD HEARS YOU!
GOD IS LOVE!
GOD IS BIGGER!
GOD WHISPERS GRACE!
GOD LOVES YOU!

SO DO I!

So as I sit here typing this at 1:00 in the morning  I wonder where this is going. I wonder what can I do to make it better and I wonder how is this impacting my family. Then I remember GOD IS GRACE. GOD IS LOVE. Most of all I know that I have put it in his hands and his plan is always so much better then mine. His grace is so much more then I deserve.

So many years ago I learned to be patient and trust in God. I learned that if I lay it at his feet and wait he will answer my prayers way better then what I could have asked for. So now when I pray I don't say God do this and that for me. Instead, I place it at the cross and I know that he will fix it his way, in his time and it will be way better then what I wanted.

I know it may sound crazy but try it. You will find peace. In this life if we carry our troubles it will make us crazy. November is a month to be grateful, be grateful for those in your life. Let God carry your troubles. Let your friends walk with you. I know my life is better because God carries me and my family and friends are with me as I make "My Journey."

LOVE YOU MORE!

 His Strength Is Perfect

The Greatest test of faith is when you don't get what you want,
but still are able to say THANK YOU LORD.
Photo Credit: Cheryl Calderaro

I am a worrier. I did not say a warrior but a worrier a person who can worry about everything. I remember as a kid I gave myself an ulcer from always worrying. I worried about grades, games, family, friends and the world. If I did not have any thing to worry about I would worry about other peoples troubles. You know that is how I rolled for many years.

Then one day I had brain surgery. That little life challenge changed my life greatly.

There's a ship out on the ocean at the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about lost and broken wandering aimlessly
And God, somehow You know that ship is me

It was indeed me. I realized that I could not survive that life challenge until I gave up my worries and left them in Gods hands.

                                                           

Recently, I shared that I could have more then Parkinson's and that I was waiting tests to determine what was going on. That was three weeks ago. Today, someone asked me "So what was it?" I said  what was what? "What was the other problem, the other diagnosis?' I don't know. "Doesn't that freak you out not knowing?

Cause there's a lighthouse in the harbor shining faithfully
Pouring its light out across the water for this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes in me

It really does not drive me crazy not knowing. Actually I have a peace not knowing. So I have constant pain. It is in my legs, my arms and my hips. I also have headaches, neck pain and I tremble. The reality is I have Parkinson's Disease. THE REALITY IS I HAVE PARKINSON"S DISEASE! The bigger reality is I have God in my life and all that I go through and all that I endure he goes through and endures WITH ME!

Lets think about this, for 20 plus years I have had these pains and now they are intensifying. Now they are stronger. Now they are an everyday companion. SO IS GOD! His love for me and my love for him is intensifying each day. My faith for him is stronger each day. God is my everyday companion.

On those nights at 2:00 am when the pain keeps me awake, and believe me that is more nights then not, and every night that I cannot sleep and wonder how I will face the next day. I feel him right there with me. He is a shield that protects me, protects US! He is there when WE reach out.


On a prayer in a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

I was reminded today by a very wise friend that I say me or I to often. The fact of the matter is WE are all in this together! It is MY Journey but all of you are here with me. It is MY Journey and OUR Journey. When we lean on each other we bring him glory.

I try to hide my symptoms. I keep my arms crossed to hide the trembling. I don't eat in public if my fork is shaking and I sit when my legs are weak so people won't think I am drunk. My wife drives when I am tired, weak and need support.

Parkinson's makes me forget. Parkinson's makes me tremble.  Parkinson's makes me have weird facial expressions. Parkinson's makes me have bad dreams and yell in my sleep and yes I have even punched Kris in my sleep. Man I will never live that down. Parkinson's can cause lots of trouble for me in this world.

Jesus tells us that we will have troubles in this world, it's a guarantee. However, He also promises that we have victory through our faith because Jesus Christ has overcome the world. If you are facing hard and uncertain times, you can be encouraged to press on knowing that you can overcome.! 

How do I know? Because he sits right there in the recliner at 2:00 every night. He calms me in my sleep and he puts people in my life everyday that fight for me, with me. He gives me the courage to tell you that life can stink and to put this all out there for you to read. Why? Because I trust him and he tells me to trust you. He tells me that he will carry me. You will carry me. We are in this together and we will carry each other in all our rough days. 


There's a moment we all come to  In our own time and our own space
Where all that we've done we can undo If our heart's in the right place
And again I see my yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery You're changing all that is and used to be

On a prayer in a song I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down against the wind I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again


God gives us grace. More then we deserve. We need to give him glory each and everyday as we battle. We must remember that he did not give us these problems but he can help us as we travel this road. He helps me and he will always be with me as I make our "My Journey."

Bless Those Who Protect

Just a few short days ago I posted about serving and volunteering and helping our neighbors in time of need I must say I was overwhelmed with the response from friends and family that wanted to share their recent life events and how they used that post to be inspired to serve. 

My life long friend Trisha wrote:

Trisha Carr Ron Hamilton thank you for this post this morning. I woke up with a little cold and was going to blow off an opportunity to volunteer in Santa Rosa. That city was devastated by fire earlier this week. After reading your post I jumped out of bed and headed there to volunteer. It was a life changing experience. Seeing grown men tear up after losing everything was almost more than I could take. 

I was able to give clothes, food, toiletries, hugs but most of all God's love. Thank you Ronny for continuing to be a shining light in my life!! I love you! 💜





Really isn't that what life is all about? As we watch the events that unfold around us each day we can choose to let the sadness over take us or we can climb out of bed and serve our neighbor. Trisha is one who has ALWAYS put others first and served with love in her heart.

The events of Las Vegas also stretched the courage of so many and brought fear into our lives. I remember sitting in bed that night waiting to hear from my life long friend Cindy Wozney. For hours I wondered if she was safe and where she might be in that dark horrible night. Then it came, a text that she was still there hiding. About an hour later she sent me a message that she really wanted a hug. What a faithful friend that in what could be the darkest time of her life she wanted a hug.

(Today I missed her when she came to get that hug but It is still here waiting for her.)

These two friends have certainly stood by me through some of my most challenging times with my health struggles and I know that they are a text mesage away from getting in their car and coming to my rescue. All I have to do is ask.

We all have a friend like that, a friend that is there day and night no matter what. That friend is Jesus. Always there to protect us and serve us and give us what we need. It may not be what we want but he gives us what we need.

As humans, we want to see God's protection as a magic force field that keeps us from all harm. Yes, God has to stop any evil or destruction but we must remember that we live in a fallen world where we have free will and sometimes God works in ways that we do not understand. Sometimes God's protection comes in the form of peace and strength in the middle of despair. Sometimes God's protection comes as an ending because he sees something more on the horizon that we cannot see. As a believer in Jesus, we are promised a new life covered under the protection of God in which NOTHING can separate us from His love. Rest knowing that no matter what hardship you face, God is your provider and protector!

The bible says:

2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.

It is so true. But tonight I want to add a different spin to this message a challenge of sorts. You see the last Blog I also spoke of men and woman who rush into danger as we rush out. They risk everything so that we can have life and safety. During those recent fires many of these men and woman had lost all they owned yet there they were running to save others and during those shootings some had been shot or lost family members but there they were shielding the innocent and risking their lives. 

 

They don't ask for anything. They just serve. They run through the night saving lives while we sleep. We sleep peacefully because we know they are there. Like the police man, highway patrol and sheriff the work in a dangerous and they do it with only a badge over their heart to protect them.

So today, you are reading this Blog and you are wondering what you will do today. Will you go to church and pray for a family who has lost so much? Will you watch football? Call your parents and check in on them? How about this idea. Today, go to the kitchen and bake a batch of cookies or cupcakes or coffee bread and take it to the nearest firehouse or police station and say thank you because the odds are they had a long night. 

As you deliver I will pray for you. Iwill pray that God gives you and those you serve strength to protect and help each other in this sometimes crazy world. Mostly, I will pray that God keeps you safe, brings you good health and that he will give you courage in all you do. Then I will thank him for fireman and thank him for giving me friends like Trisha and Cindy to travel with me as I make "My Journey."

Completely For You

Editors Note: When I started this blog I did not know where it was headed but I sure like where it went.

Through out my life I have seen many acts of selfish giving. There was the time as a child my church gave us food to last several weeks, the time our car was broke down and a stranger stopped to help get it started again and there was the time I needed shoes for a basketball game and my sister took hers off and gave them to me.

Isn't it funny the things we remember? What often strikes me are how weird it is the things we forget. We forget the sacrifices made by parents when we are kids and need the extra money for a school trip or an after school event. We forget the extra help a teacher gives us by staying after school and working on that science project with us. We forget how hard a wife works to deliver a baby or tend to our troubles.

How about this.... We forget when brave men and woman ran into a burning building as thousands ran out. We forget that when others are running from a fire their are those running into it. We also forget that a man gave his life so we could have ours.

When I was a kid we did not have much money but we had energy and time so my parents used that to raise money for the March of Dimes, Walk a thon and the school band. We sold dinner tickets for fundraisers, collected coats for the needy, cleaned senior citizens houses and raised guide dogs for the blind.

Why? Helping others is the right thing to do. Serving others is the right thing to do. Serving others brings honor to them and glory to God. Even Jesus came to serve. He healed the sick, fed the hungry and gave sight to the blind. He gave his love in the blood he gave for you.

The bible says:

Mark 10:45 

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

How do you serve? How do you help others? The blessings we give others, no matter how small, are magnified by the love that is shown in the act. It is magnified by the glory given to God by serving his people.

Hebrews 6:10

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

This month my mother turned 82 and my father turned 88. Add that up 82 and 88 that is 170 years of life on earth. There is a lot to be learned in 170 years of life and a lot to be taught to 6 kids in 170 years of life.  That is also 65 years of marriage.

Here is what they taught me:

No matter how little you have you still give to others.

No matter how rough life is on you there is someone having a tougher time.

Say sorry.

Forgive.

Hug

Kiss.

Did they always get it right? HECK NO! Did they make mistakes? HECK YES! But they did not give up. They did not stop trying and they still to this day give. They give advice. They give love. They pat me on the back. They make me smile. They say they are proud. WOW! The greatest thing you can do in life is make your parents proud. Feels good.

 

So tonight in honor of these two that love me, save me from myself, worry about me, especially lately and these two that can drive me absolutely insane. I serve. It is my calling. It is the calling of us all.

Tonight, for the first time in months I watched the news. It took five minutes to realize that in the 7 months that I had not watched television little had changed, People are still fighting with each other, hating each other and yelling. What division.

Then they showed Napa, Sonoma and Santa Rosa. I realized that something else had not changed. When tragedy strikes and we are running for safety there are men and woman running in to our rescue. When people are in need we step up and serve. We donate blood, clothes and food. We pray and we hope.

Then there was that story about a girl in Pollock Pines that drove with little sleep through hours of traffic and smoke to deliver apples to those who were hungry. Why apples? Why not. When people are in need even my little sister finds what is available and shares it with those who are in need. She still serves. The apple does not fall far from the tree planted by that 170 years of life.

So my challenge? Serve others. Love others. Help others. Life is a challenge enough without hate. Make the road easier for your neighbor. No matter how little you have or what your troubles are you can always lift someone up. As you lift up others I will stand beside you as I make "My Journey."

The Long Journey Ahead

When Krishna's Great Grandpa Miotti left Italy he was not aware that his journey would be such a long one. He traveled through France and then he and his children boarded the ship the Pennsylvania in Champs France on July 23, 1908  and headed to the shores of America. I wonder what he must have felt as he arrived at Ellis Island. Great grandpa Miotti was 41, grandpa was 6 and his sister Matilda was 11.

My mothers great grandpa's brother Captain Samuel Stevens Woodruff  boarded a sooner in New Haven Connecticut to San Francisco in 1849 and headed around the the tip of South America. For 155 days he faced dangers of many kinds including storms, illness and of course the Pirates of the  Carribean.

Over the years the Miotti's  journey would take them across America and George would spend his final days in the small town of Tuolumne. Over the years my families journey would take them to the small town of Jamestown. From those two families came one. The family that Krishna and I now call our own. Their journey took many roads, sailed many oceans and traveled through places we will never see but their Journey is now our journey. My Journey.

To think they would take only what they could carry and head into the world to start a life of possibilities and unknowns. Today many never venture 10 miles from home and yet these explorers  traveled here and I have the great life due to their leap of faith. It must have been a leap after all who would load their kids on a boat and end their journey some 7000 miles from where it started.

I am sure like our life it was not easy. For the past several months you have followed "My Journey" and your responses and love have carried Krishna and I through some difficult days and we would never have made it through the years of set backs had it not been for our amazing God. He gives to us grace when we don't deserve it and his love never waivers.

There are days I've taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn't make again
I've had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life

So tonight I have new news about my Parkinson. For weeks I have shared that I have been in lots of pain. I try to hide it and not let it slow me down but some days it can really challenge me. Two weeks ago at my appointment with the doctor he became concerned as he felt that  the pain was not from the Parkinson's but something else. So I said "I do not have Parkinson's?" He said "no you most certainly have Parkinson's but there is something else with it. Lets do some tests."

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

So Krishna and I laid it at the cross and I had tests. Then the wait. That is always the hard part the wait. Especially wondering "what can it be?" The doctor was looking for a muscular disease and what else we were not sure. But God is faithful and so we trusted. I remember a time when this would have been way overbearing. When fear could could grip us and we would panic. But not this time. This time I felt peace.

You were there when it all came down on me
When I was blinded by my fear
And I struggled to believe
But in those unclear moments
You were the one keeping me strong
This is how my story's always gone

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Through all of it

Today we got the answers. No muscular disease. Praise God! 

And this is who You are                                                                                                                                       More constant than the stars up in the sky                                                                                                            All these years of our lives, I                                                                                                                                      I look back and I see You                                                                                                                                      Right now I still do                                                                                                                                                 And I'm always going to

But wait. Then what. Just today I had trouble with so much pain and my legs of late have been so weak and I have been stumbling more. What is the pain from? Why do I stumble? Is it from the Chiari? After all the surgery was to stop the Chiari but I was told that I would for have lingering symptoms. 

You know that moment in time when you are waiting for an important answer and it a seems like the response is far away and that you will never hear the words? Today, I felt like that. Finally, he says "Well for one the tests show arthritis in the back." I was thinking  cool I can live with that. "But that is not what is really causing your problems, we need to do more tests. But this will be fine."

The bible tells us:

Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalms 27:14

There are times when we can get mad. There are times that we can give up and there are times when we could shout out to God and say why. I could not help but to softly say to the doctor "This will be fine?" 

You must know that my neurologist is a very kind man. He listens to all of my concerns, answers all of our questions and he CALMLY comforts us. He reminded Krishna and I that every Parkinson's patient is different and their daily struggle is different. He said " The symptoms that you thought were from the brain surgery all these years have been from your Parkinson's. The last 10-15 years. It not uncommon for people to have symptoms and not know for years they have Parkinson's. You are like that. All these years you thought you were still struggling from the brain surgery when really you were struggling with the beginning stages of the disease and it was not until it started to worsen that you came in and you were finally diagnosed." 

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy
I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

So yes I have Parkinson's and I have arthritis and I have ...well who knows?  God does and he has known all along what I have and what I need. He has been my God through all of this up to this point and he will be my God through all the rest.

Today, I continued  my journey or some could say it started a new or that it went in a different direction. I am not sure what it did but this is what I do know. No matter what happened today and no matter what happens with the next tests and the next set of results God is with us. I just have to always remember to lay all my hope and all my worries in his hands and he will always be there step by step as I take "My Journey."

Peace Be with you God Loves You and So Do I!