Glory To God in All Things

In the spring of 2011 Emily, Danny, Faith and I were working around the little pig barn where we raise their 4-H projects. As I was scurrying around working on a a broken pipe Emily said "Why are your hands shaking so much?" When you have Chiari Malformation you pretty much get used to ignoring stuff like that. I told her it must be the Chairi and she said that she had never seen me shake like that.

As I journey through the next few years, now that I look back, I realize that things did indeed start to change for me. The numbing in sensation in my arms and legs started to be more like trembling. I felt like my walking was a rigged, stiff and uncontrollable weakness. I was having cramps in my hands and legs. My fine motor skills had been a challenge with the Chairi so I blamed it on that.

Then my memory started to be really impacted. I would read something at work and the next day forget what I had read. My 50 birthday was coming so I blamed it on age. Things were a challenge though and if it were not for such a great team working with me  I am not sure what would have happened.

I tried vitamins, drinking more water, eating blue berries....anything that I read that would help with memory. I was frustrated because as I traveled as a speaker I was concerned that my memory would fail me in the middle of a speech. Can you imagine if I was standing on a stage speaking to 1000 people and my memory stopped?

Then in July of 2016, I was at the fair working the swine show when I noticed my handwriting was getting smaller and messier as I wrote in the awards book. I said to Emily that Kim Helmbold would not be able to read the awards book if I did not get it together. There it was plain as day a book full of scribble and yet my hands did not want to comply with what my brain was telling them to do.

As summer turned to fall things kept the same way. My arms were really shaking now. The good thing is when I got the tooth brush in my mouth I could really do a fabulous job brushing my teeth. I would lay at night next to Krishna and she would lay there feeling me shake from head to toe. When the shaking was not visible I could still feel it like a rumbling deep inside my arms and legs.

 I then remembered that one doctor had told us that I could be a candidate for early Alzheimer's or Parkinson's Disease due to all my medical troubles. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake? My life is moving great. I have a great job, I work with a wonderful staff and my community service work has me going full steam.

In November, I went to see my doctor to try and understand why the Chiari was giving me so much trouble. Unfortunately, Doctor Borgquist had passed but I was now seeing Dr. Acuna and I REALLY trusted him. Steve walked in the room and I said "I am having issues with my Chairi." He stood there for a second and then said  "I really think you have Parkinson's Disease." Just like that? He said looking at you I really see the signs of the disease so I would like to refer you to a Neurologist.

This ought to be fun to tell Krishna.

Within a few days I was out of town at the Neurologist office. He walks in and says "I don't have a file for you but assume your here for Parkinson's?" I said " how do you know that?" He said "The way you walk and carry your self." I was surprised. He told me we would do testing. He spent the remaining time of the appointment asking questions and doing tests. Then he ordered the MRI to check my Chairi to be sure it looked good. I had the MRI the last Sunday of November.

On December 1, 2016 Krishna and I were sitting in his office. He comes in and does more tests and says that all indications show that it is Parkinson's Disease. Great! I looked at Krishna and it was all over her face. Here I was putting her through more. I leaned over and told her "Through all things we bring glory to God. Good and bad he will receive the glory." She nodded but I knew she was worried.

1 Peter 4:11

That in all things God may be glorified.

The next few days we shared with family and friends the news. Parkinson's is not always visible so many were surprised that I had the disease with some even questioning the results. I had to explain that Parkinson's disease affects all those with the disease differently and it can change from day to day. I would need those close to my life to understand those symptoms and how they would affect me so that they can be part of this journey.

Through all of this many things have stayed the same. My love for God, my love for Krishna and the kids and the amazing family and community that carries me. Can you imagine trying to live with such a challenge and not having Christ in you life, a spouse to carry you, or not having  a family there to help you along the way? I cannot even think what it would be like if I was in a large city and knew no one. How lonely! But I don't live in a big city and I am not alone.

I walk a walk that I challenge you to walk as well, a walk that during the good and bad times you are not alone. The bible tells us:

Matthew 19:26 

Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Luke  1:37

For nothing will be impossible with God.

I am not saying that with God all your problems will just go away, what I am saying is that with God you can give all your problems to him and know that he is there with you. He is holding you and his peace will bring you comfort.

If you are struggling today with pain, loneliness or feeling hopeless cry out to God. OR you can call me, text me, message me I will pray for you. I know life is not perfect and for some it is hard to believe what we cannot see, feel or touch. But have you have ever felt love? Have you ever seen hope? If you have ever touched a flower, a baby or a snow flake then you witnessed God.

This should tell you that there is something greater and that something is God and he loves you very much and so do I. So you see as you follow me you will find that this is more then just a disease or a blog or a story about my life. This is a disease, a story and a Blog that is about God and how he and all of you are with me on "My Journey."


Tomorrow - The symptoms and stages of Parkinson's Disease.

For prayer and support:

hamiltonron22@gmail.com
209-928-1815