Because You Loved Me

Part 1: Healing Series

Psalm 91:14

The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name"


Fear.Worry.Regret.Anger. Four words that really do run together don't they? Often we find ourselves struggling with one or the other.Life can be moving along at a gentle pace and a bump in the road can cause one of these to raise its ugly intentions. It can also cause several of them to join in unison and cause havoc in our lives.

They are also the four most common things that can make a person cry. You cry when your afraid. You cry when you worry. People cry because they have regrets. I know many who cry because they are angry. The interesting thing is that each can cause the other. If you worry about life you may start having regrets. This can lead to anger and then fear of what is to come.

When I was newly married and had two kids I worried a lot. Heck When I was a kid I worried about everything. Often I worried so much my stomach would hurt. later we found that I had an ulcer, probably from worrying to much. If there was a problem I was the person who would loose sleep to worry about it.

 If my baby sister had a problem I would lay awake at night and worry for her. I remember telling her one time that she could rest at night because I worried enough for her that she did not need too. If friends were sick I worried. If there were money issues I worried and if there was any kind of unhappiness in the family....You guessed it I worried.

When I was diagnosed with Chairi I was more than a little worried. Krishna and I had two young kids, no life insurance, no disability and I was about to have a major surgery.The doctor could not warn me enough that the surgery had major risks including death. I could also have issues and be paralyzed or a number of things he said he needed to caution me about. The worry, fear, anger and regret started.

I would lay awake at night worrying about the future for Kris and the kids. That would lead to fear of what might happen and then, well you guessed it, along would come anger and then regret. I would get out of bed more tired then when I went to bed. I was a mess. Publicly, I kept a happy face but inside I was in turmoil.

Then I remember what I was always telling others, "Put it in Gods hands." I needed to practiced what I preached. So that night before bed I prayed. It was not over night that it got better for me but eventually it did get better. Then the week before my surgery I was tossing and turning all night. My concern for that night was, If I die during surgery will I have done enough to go to heaven?

I fell asleep to find myself in a winding dream that carried me all through my life. All through the dream  I was worried because I was not going to go to heaven.I kept asking "Do I get to go?" I need to know do I get to go to heaven?

In my dream a loud chorus of voices sang in unison the word JESUS. From beyond the horizon Jesus rose in a cloud of sun rays and mist. He was floating to heaven for his eternal life. As he floated people all around started floating up with him. They were going to heaven. Suddenly my feet left the ground and I was floating too. I was so excited and yet so confused.

Could it be that a sinner like me could be saved? Could it be that a person that was so imperfect could be so loved? With all the mistakes I had made could it be that I was really going? I shouted out to Jesus and said "Why me? How come I get to go?" Jesus said " be still and listen."

Psalms 46:10

 "Be still, and know that I am God; 

I woke up.

Just like that I was not going to get the answer. Why would I wake up at such a critical point in the dream? Now it seemed like it would end up more like a night mare. Then I realized the alarm radio had gone off and that is what woke me. The song on the radio was Jodee Messina and it was titled Because You Loved Me.

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
because you loved me

That is it isn't it? People need to love God. They need to put their worries in God's hands. Stop listening to the noise around you that causes anxiety, fear, worry and regret and instead listen to God.
We cant let the bad things in life control us because those things will eventually change. So will the good things in life. Instead if we put it all in Gods hands we will find peace because unlike life God never changes. He stays the same.

You need to put God in charge of your life and he will calm the storms. Remember God may not be the center of your universe but you are the center of his universe. My life is a mess! A wonderful, bad, gooey, good mess. That is what makes me...me. He loves me for all of it the good and the bad.

So when your are dealt a bad day, a bad diagnoses or even Parkinson's give it up to God. He is bigger than all of that. His love is stronger than anything. His glory will shine through.As difficult as my days can be and as frustrated as I can get with the new limitations that I face the bible tells us to not worry.

1 Peter 5:7

Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you

Psalm 136:26

Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He loves you and so do I. He is with you always and he is with me everyday as I make "My Journey."

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU_GhL2Hexk

My soul can be in complete turmoil my legs weak under me and my body feeling yucky.
Then she touches me and I am reminded that God has truly blessed me and complete peace takes over my body.

Editors Note: Tomorrow Night: What other things can you do to help get through the difficult times? While God is a great answer for me, we can't just sit and wait our whole lives for things to get better. Their is a life to live a whole world waiting for us to get to work fixing our community.